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Venice Beach Skate-O-Rama

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Yesterday we told you about National Skateboarding Day. Um, then we mentioned it again. Today we will show you what you missed by not listening to us when we tell you to do something.


Okay, I admit that my motives aren't always the purest. I like to see bratty entitled little kids fall down and bruise their overgrown egos and I felt certain with the number of skaters present, there had to be at least 3 good accidents. I am fascinated that anyone can skate in those toddler sized jeans they wear and I planned on waiting gleefully for them to rip open so I could snap pictures and giggle.

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"Oh you're so mean, Malingering, you hate kids and fat people and pit bulls and women and men!" Wah wah wah, I don't hate anyone. In fact I was rather disappointed that there weren't more arrogant little punks who would brag and show-off and then fall on their faces. Instead, these were just hard-working, determined people who wanted to be good at what they do. It's actually inspiring. If I fell down on my ass trying to do some kick-flip-thing in front of 100 people I would run to the bathroom and sit on the toilet and cry until someone dragged me out of my chamber of shame and bought me an ice cream cone and told me I was still special, just not a special skateboarder. But not these kids. They have nerves of steel. Skateboarding is not a crime.

(Plus I figured with all of the action going on, fake boobies and muffin tops and bad tourist fashion would flock to experience the excitement and madness of "National Go Skate Day" and then I wouldn't have to walk around looking for anything as it would all just come straight to me.)