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The Fruit of Our Loins: Sex Classes at Babeland

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Since Wednesday’s White Stripes show at the Forum was cancelled, those of us with tickets were forced to find something else to do. Some probably went to other concerts, maybe some drank their sorrows away. I went the more obvious route – I went to Babeland to learn how to blow a banana.

Babeland is the very woman-friendly sex store on Melrose and La Brea. Open for nearly two years here in L.A., they started offering classes this year on everything from orgasms, to bondage, to strap-ons.

Wednesday’s class was “Oral Sex Basics: Fellatio." The small, bright, and colorful store had been set up with several rows of chairs, and was overflowing with participants by the time we started at 7:30 p.m. After a quick welcome and intro, our instructor, Kristen Tribby, Marketing/Education Coordinator at Babeland, took the floor.

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Perky, cute, and dressed in all black, Kristen wasn’t what I had expected. I envisioned someone that was going to go boot camp style on me until I gave the best head of anyone in the Greater Los Angeles area. Kristen was much more girl next door than dominatrix, and in fact she seemed a little uneasy at first. But her quirky, playful style picked up as she got the class going.

She started by asking the group the age-old question, "Why are blow jobs hot," which in a room full of ladies garnered answers like “it’s powerful” and “it turns him on.”

A role play of a “sex date” followed, during which we learned how to take our partner out for something pleasant like a dinner, or perhaps coffee, and talk frankly about what we’d each like to do in bed, and how the other one feels about it (Rimming? Maybe. Vaginal Fisting? Yes).

This led us smoothly into the pièce de résitance. Lifting up a Vons bag, Kristen announced that it was time to meet our boyfriends for the night – several sacs full of nearly ripe bananas. Technique time.