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Veteran Hollywood Director Trash Talks His Way Through His Oscar Ballot

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Oscars (Photo by didier burton via the LAist Featured Photos pool)
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The vaunted Academy Awards are an opportunity for the film industry to showcase its finest cinematic achievements —or you know, to promote people they like, slam others they don't and try to right the wrongs of past award shows.An anonymous Hollywood director invited over The Hollywood Reporter while he talks—and trash-talks—his way through his official Academy Awards ballot. The director, who has been snowed under with "everything short of 'Lincoln' condoms," has seen most of the nominees and has strong opinions about them. (However, at one point he spins his iPhone around to figure out how to vote: "Wreck-It Ralph" was the lucky winner on that one).

He calls "Lincoln" a "bore," but threw it a nomination for Best Directing and Best Picture, because "Spielberg deserves an Oscar every 10 years or so out of respect for what he does for the industry."

He seems to have an affection for Quentin Tarantino, even though "he’s made the same movie eight times" and says "Django Unchained" was like Tarantino "masturbating for almost three hours." "Les Miserables" is "not just the most disappointing film of the year but the most disappointing film in many years," although he gave a vote to Anne Hathaway because "she makes you cry and because I find her charming."

This Oscar voter is not a fan of Jennifer Lawrence's "Saturday Night Live" monologue where she poked fun at her fellow nominees: "I thought it was mean-spirited and shows a lack of maturity on her part." Emmanuelle Riva got the vote over the Jessica Chastain because "she may not even live through Oscar night." Tommy Lee Jones isn't getting a vote because he's a "bitter guy:" "...all that scowling at the Golden Globes? I’m telling you, people don’t like the guy."

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He calls "Argo's" screenplay "a whole lot of nothing" and disqualified "Amour" because "it’s just a woman dying, and there’s no real story, and it made me feel like shit. There’s only so much diaper-changing that I can tolerate." This voter liked Mark Boal’s screenplay for "Zero Dark Thirty," calling the controversy over whether it promoted torture "nonsense" and admits that because it won't win Best Picture "part of me just wants to try to push through an award for it as an 'I'm sorry.'"

The director is a pretty big James Bond fan and was annoyed that other voters overlook it in categories like "Best Cinematography." But he is really hoping it can at least win "Best Song" with Adele's "Skyfall." He likes the song but added: "In a way, this is my F-you for not giving it to ‘Live and Let Die’ back in 1973."

Read his take on the rest of the ballot here.

Related:
Just How Many Oscar Voters Are Old White Men?