Borat in Rehab, Dirty Polacks & Mike Myers
6:22 - It's your last chance to text in your vote for Best Movie. I know it hasn't even opened yet, but I bet that somehow Transformers will win.
6:21 - Mike Myers gets a well-deserved laugh after he thanks his parents for teaching him to "never sell out" and immediately follows it with a deliberately over-the-top promo for a Pontiac sedan. Plug away.
6:19 - "Shall I shag him now or shall I shag him later?" Cameron Diaz asks before presenting Mike Myers with his Generation Award, which is the MTV version of a lifetime achievement award.
6:17 - Schwing! It's time for a Mike Myers greatest clips package.
6:14 - Wow! If Cameron Diaz's little black dress were any littler, you'd see her cervix!
6:13 - When introducing Cameron Diaz, Sarah Silverman makes a funny and pointed reference to Hollywood's love for ethnic stars who don't look or sound the least bit ethnic.
6:10 - In the next tent over, I can hear the MTV press handler announce, "Ok, guys... John Krasinski coming up. [Long pause.] From The Office." Total Number of Celebs Who Have Visited the Blogghetto: 0.
6:07 - Sacha Baron Cohen announces that unfortunately Borat couldn't be here because the pressures of being a celebrity have taken a toll on him and he's entered rehab. "He crashed his car into Jewtown," SBC explains. "He was caught driving drunk on fermented horse urine. Also, he had more than the legal limit of roofies in his car. And he actually went on a chat show and made pro-Jewish remarks." SBC thanks the crowd and finishes his speech with, "I can still taste Will on my lips!"
6:04 - Robin Williams, Mandy Moore (looking uber cute if a little too orangey fake tanned) in a reddish gown and John Krasinski come on stage to give out the Best Comedic Performance Award. When Robin Williams announces the winner -- Sacha Baron Cohen (no suprise there) -- he does it in some weird Heavily Ethnic Accent of Indeterminable Origin. How does he manage to be vaguely ethnic yet stereotypical at the same time? And how much do you think Robin Williams wishes he was Sacha Baron Cohen?
6:03 - Sarah Silverman calls John Krasinski, Jim from The Office, a dirty Polack.