Living in Sin: I'm a Lesbian who fantasizes about Older Men
Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice to LA's sexually curious. You can see her column in print, too, in the LA Alternative Press. Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.
I am a lesbian in my mid-thirties. I came out really young and have
never been with a man, but for the past ten years or so I've been
having sexual fantasies about men in their sixties. I've never acted on these fantasies but still want to know - why is this happening?
I used to have this great job working in the creative department of a
record company where my coworkers and I would help each other with our
respective projects. We'd gather in someone's office and brainstorm
for a while until we got bored and started making phoney phone calls or
drummed up a round of butt quarters. One day we decided to play
"what's your filthiest fantasy."
We each wrote one down on a small piece of paper, put it in a hat, and pulled them out one by one, trying
to guess whose was whose. I learned that my fellow workers dreamt of things like being suckled by huge-breasted women like an itty bitty baby, and getting eaten out under the conference room table during big
meetings. At the time it was a tad too much information, but it wasn't until they put a gym in the building, and I found myself discussing the new Michael Bolton ad campaign with my boss while she toweled off her crotch, that I quit.
I went on to meet a lesbian who only likes gay male porn, a gay boy who
longs to go down on a woman, and everybody knows some straight chick
who's gotten it on with her best friend. What is happening to you is
happening to the majority of the population, and all it means is that
you have a healthy libido, a liberated imagination, and a secret desire
to work in a pipe shop.
We're all under such pressure to follow the tired rules of straightness
or gayness or Christianness or whatever, but the world is far too juicy
a place to not participate in just because you don't want to get kicked
out of any clubs. So whether it's sitting on the couch watching
Columbo reruns with your hand down your pants, or begging your uncle
to take you fishing with his buddies, I sincerely hope you don't let
the L word get in your way.
photo by Sweaty