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Jacko Just Wants to Be Close to 'All the Action'

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He might be needing to move on from his fantasy-driven life on his legendary Santa Barbara estate, but Michael Jackson still knows how to do things in style. The onetime "King of Pop" recently moved into a Bel Air home for the totally reasonable price of $100k a month rent. The home, according to the LA Times, is "a French chateau estate built in 2002" and "has seven bedrooms, 13 bathrooms, 12 fireplaces and a theater" but, there is "nary a Ferris wheel or exotic animal in sight."

But it's not Jackson's substantial overhead that is worth a chuckle, but rather his take on the move, as relayed to the LA Times by his manager. Forget that his finances and legal affairs necessitated leaving Neverland, but that he's doing it to "be closer to 'where all the action is.'" Pairing the word "action" with Jackson can lead to multiple interpretations, all of which still remain tinged with the fact that he hasn't had a stateside hit in years, and will probably never shake the association made between him and young boys.

So just what "action" Jackson hopes to find secluded in the Holmby Hills might be better found during a night spent warming up the coolness of his old gold records in front of one of his many, many fireplaces, and not amidst the world of entertainment, which seems to have moved on without him just fine over the years.