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I Don't Care How Hot My Uber Passenger Is, We're Not Hooking Up

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I'm Lexus Jones. I have a regular full-time job but on the weekends and occasional weeknights I drive for Uber. Over the last couple of years I have driven over 2,000 trips for Uber. At first I drove on the UberX platform. Now I drive a luxury car on the Uber Plus platform. Whenever I think that I have seen it all, something new happens. I will be sharing those stories here. I will also answer questions and give advice on how to get the most out of your rides.

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Ma'am, I'm merging. (Photo by Captblack76 via Shutterstock)
I have a friend who is sexy, blonde, wild and usually down for whatever. Because she is a responsible young lady, when she knows she is going to go out and drink, she takes an Uber. The other morning she texted me and told me she just had sex with her Uber driver. She said she was tipsy, happy and he was cute, so after the ride was over, she invited him in and he obliged.

"Five-star service!" she joked.

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Even though it's thrilling to think about hooking up with some passengers, there's no way I would ever do it. Every weekend there are good-looking, fun, scantily-dressed riders in my back seat, some of whom invite me to join them in their dinners and drinks and what-have-you. For some it is a natural progression after the bonding that can magically happen when a driver and passenger hit it off on a ride.

But I don't want to be the next Uber driver you read about on LAist.

Not that long ago, there was a rash of news stories about Uber drivers involved in the most outrageous and ridiculous shenanigans.

There was the time when a valet at Greystone Manor waved down an Uber driver and placed a very drunk woman in a car. The woman woke up in a motel in the Valley, in bed, with the driver. When the woman called the police that morning, the driver was arrested for kidnapping. The charge was dropped when the woman refused to talk to the police any further. Technically, the man was not an Uber driver during that episode because he had not been summoned using the Uber app, but he was a creep who took a blacked-out woman to a motel. Another guy asked for a "big, long hug" instead of money after he solicited a woman in Hollywood walking down the street one night.

Why would I ever want to be linked to something like that? All I want to do is drive around, have a good time and pay off my Lexus with my earnings. You might be totally sexy, we may have bonded, but no, I am not going into your home at 3 a.m. to spoon because the cute guy at the bar didn't have the courage to come over to your table. Newsflash: it's not that difficult to get laid in Los Angeles in this era of Tinder.

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Do people, other than my friend, consciously hit on Uber drivers occasionally after an enjoyable ride? Yes! Have women hit on me? Duh. And, yes, it's tempting as hell sometimes. What I do is I have them write down my email address and message me in the morning if they are really interested. Otherwise, all Uber drivers are doing is asking for trouble if they do much more than drive from point A to point B.

If you haven't noticed, the press loves to have "Uber driver..." in their headlines, and even though it happens every night, all over the U.S., anyone having sex with people they just met who have been out drinking is a bad idea—and possibly illegal.

Which is why I keep rolling through the night and why I find my love interests the old-fashioned way: through Craigslist.

Related:
What It's Like To Drive Uber Or Lyft When You're A Woman
Not So Fast: Uber And Lyft Pickups At LAX Put On Hold
How Your Uber Driver Really Feels About Long Rides
The Pros And Cons Of Using An Uber For Drug Dealing, According To A Driver
What It's Like To Be An Uber Driver In 2015
10 Things That Make Your Uber Driver Sad
Tales From An Uber Driver: Why I'm Anonymous
6 Places Your Uber Driver Doesn't Want To Pick You Up