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If Mars Curiosity's Tweets Are Too Upbeat, Check Out Sarcastic Rover
Some have found the earnest and cheery disposition of NASA's Curiosity Rover on Twitter too much to handle. But a few spoof account have popped up that imagine the dark side of being a self-aware, anthropomorphized robot sent on a one-way journey to a dusty planet to study rocks. (Many of them are in the same vein as an old Onion satired about NASA's Mars rover Spirit losing its sense of purpose.)
The best of these accounts is @SarcasticRover, which besides being sarcastic is bitter, depressed, overeducated—and sometimes stoned.
The account takes aim at the drudgery of its work, meme-creating nerds back on Earth, Pluto and Buzz Aldrin. You can call him a douche, but please don't call him an ironic hipster.
Here are several of the best tweets (it was hard to narrow things down from the prolific account!):
Can't wait to get started doing geology and all that other stupid bullshit that won't cure cancer for anyone.
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 6, 2012
Thought I saw Toblerone, got super excited, turned out it was just some f--king rocks. I hate Mars. So much.
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 7, 2012
Left a girl back at home. Never told her how I felt. Probably too late now but…
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 7, 2012
I love you Roomba. Goodbye.
LOL FEELINGS!
Accidentally ran over an alien - buried it - killed all witnesses - no cops on Mars. Perfect crime!!!
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 6, 2012
For the last time, I'm not kidding - I want that parachute back! I was totally gonna make a reusable grocery bag out of it. BLERG!
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 6, 2012
Is there an Olympic medal for looking at rocks and slowly dying?
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 7, 2012
HEY GUYS!! Some Neptunian Prince needs help getting his money, and he'll give us a reward for helping! Just need 30 million Quatloos!
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 8, 2012
Found some quarks n shit, but I don't have any pockets so I guess just leave them for the next guy? LOL DELEGATING ON MARS.
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 8, 2012
HEY .@TheRealBuzz Aldrin! I hear you walked on THE MOON! LOL, THAT'S ADORABLE. JK - you're a hero. BTW, I'M ON MARS. WINNER!
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 8, 2012
SO EXCITED to start analyzing Mars rocks to find out if they're made of fossilized unicorn shit!! or whatever I'm here to do.
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 8, 2012
Hey NASA? I released all those mice you sent up with me, but they just sort of died… how was that a science anyway? PLEASE ADVISE.
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 9, 2012
I just did my FIRST GEOLOGICAL SURVEY OF MARS… MOST ROCKS ARE UNDECIDED, but still plan to vote. Go Democracy! #curiosity2012
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 8, 2012
HEY EVERYONE! Hope you kids have fun writing shitty memes on my HI-RES PICS! After all, THAT'S WHAT I'M HERE FOR!
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 8, 2012
I'm out here doing SCIENCE so that humanity can build a better tomorrow! LOL JK, THE FUTURE WILL SUCK CAUSE GLOBAL WARMING!
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 8, 2012
I used my ATOMIC LASER to vaporize some rocks and the fumes kinda made me high… so SEND SOME CHEETOS and DILLY BARS - ASAP!!
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 10, 2012
How the hell does MARS have 4 and 1/2 stars on YELP?! IT'S A BARREN LITTER-BOX! Also the website link is out of date. SEO MATTERS! LOL!
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 9, 2012
One time, I did a science SO HARD, that someone came and rescued me from Mars as reward... and then I woke up! LOL SAD DREAMS!
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 9, 2012
PLAN 2 FROM OUTER SPACE: Everyone flashmobs PLUTO… dress like PIRATES, dance to C+C MUSIC FACTORY. Pluto is all WTF?
— SarcasticRover (@SarcasticRover) August 10, 2012
Related:
Gallery: Mars Curiosity Sends Back Panorama Of Its New Home Inside Gale Crater
Curiosity Survives Nail-Biting Descent To Mars' Surface