Simply Wrong Food: IHOP's Holiday Pancakes

At first glance, you can tell these pancakes are trouble. The profusion of whipped cream and holiday colors make you want to cringe. Let the flavors alone be a warning: Egg Nog, Gingerbread, Pumpkin and Pecan Pie.

Still, your intrepid reporter just had to see for herself. First we tried the eggnog pancakes, because they sounded like the worst choice. Surprisingly, the nutmeg custard atop buttermilk pancakes wasn't so bad. It was almost good in a fried Twinkie kind of way. But after a few bites, it was a gloppy, sugary mess. I did notice that the big puffs of custard in the ad were only a light shmear on the pancakes. Yes. I was disgruntled that I didn't get my fair share of something I didn't want to eat anyways. A server passed by as I said the word "globs" and she offered helpfully, "Oh, that's eggnog hon" without even looking at the plate. In the end, it was the artificial rum syrup drizzle that put it in the hall of fame of Simply Wrong Food.

The gingerbread pancakes almost worked, and went well with the maple syrup. But it was overspiced and covered with festive holiday sprinkles that made each bite crunchy and unpleasant, like chomping bits of plastic.

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The pumpkin pancakes were the most successful of the lot. Their only fault was the fact that they were cooked in a hash-slinging franchise like IHOP. They were devoid of any gimmicks and went well with the maple syrup.

Pecan pie pancakes brought the weirdness back. Buttermilk pancakes were layered with pecan pie filling. Like seiously sticky, thick, gloopy pie filling. The topping of candied pecans were OK, but this was not something you could eat without going into an immediate sugar coma. In fact, they were so sweet I started imagining new specials like Snickers Pancakes and Gummy Bear pancakes.

I can't wait for upcoming holiday specials - the possibilities are endless! Corned Beef and Cabbage Pancakes, Fourth of July Cheeseburger Pancakes, and especially the Halloween Candy Corn Pancakes!