Truth matters. Community matters. Your support makes both possible. LAist is one of the few places where news remains independent and free from political and corporate influence. Stand up for truth and for LAist. Make your year-end tax-deductible gift now.
This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.
This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.
"Pork"-ing Reaches New Heights of Ecstasy: Bacon Lube!
via BaconLube.com
Imagine you could only choose one: Sex or Bacon? Now, calm down, and remember that this is America, where you can have both, simultaneously! The folks who brought us the must-have condiments Bacon Salt and Baconnaise have been entrenched in their labs, pulling long hours in the name of sexy, porcine research, and they've come up with the meeting of the previously disparate forms of pleasure of the flesh. Two words, one product: Bacon Lube.
They're touting it as the "McRib of sex" thanks to its deliciousness and ability to "make men crazy." (Bacon lovin' ladies, are you outraged?!) It's also "water based, proudly Made in America, and is the gold standard of meat flavored massage oils." Well!
So, bacon lovers... now is your time to stop staring longingly at that jar of bacon grease and wondering "what if."
There is, however, little time to dilly dally on whether you really want to smear your special places with an intimacy aid that smells like your hangover breakfast: They only made 3,000 bottles (which seems to be either a gross under—or over—estimation of supply, considering demand, we're not sure). And, hey—you don't need a fellow piggy to get down with the bacon lube; self-pleasuring with bacon can just move from your Grand Slam plate at Denny's to the privacy of your own home.
You come to LAist because you want independent reporting and trustworthy local information. Our newsroom doesn’t answer to shareholders looking to turn a profit. Instead, we answer to you and our connected community. We are free to tell the full truth, to hold power to account without fear or favor, and to follow facts wherever they lead. Our only loyalty is to our audiences and our mission: to inform, engage, and strengthen our community.
Right now, LAist has lost $1.7M in annual funding due to Congress clawing back money already approved. The support we receive before year-end will determine how fully our newsroom can continue informing, serving, and strengthening Southern California.
If this story helped you today, please become a monthly member today to help sustain this mission. It just takes 1 minute to donate below.
Your tax-deductible donation keeps LAist independent and accessible to everyone.
Right now, LAist has lost $1.7M in annual funding due to Congress clawing back money already approved. The support we receive before year-end will determine how fully our newsroom can continue informing, serving, and strengthening Southern California.
If this story helped you today, please become a monthly member today to help sustain this mission. It just takes 1 minute to donate below.
Your tax-deductible donation keeps LAist independent and accessible to everyone.
Senior Vice President News, Editor in Chief
