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This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.

Food

Get Porked: New Bacon Condoms and Mouthwash a Fantasy for Meat Lovers

2013-03-28.jpg
Photos courtesy of J & D and Scope

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Pop quiz ladies: What's hotter than John Hamm's ham and Sean Lowe's washboard abs? Bacon, baby. Bacon. And you can now get a double dose of it in your after hours escapades thanks to two new products: Scope's bacon mouth wash and J & D's bacon condoms.

For those of you that are real meat lovers, you'd be best advised to slip on one of J & D's new bacon condoms, which come complete with a packet of smokey personal lube that'll make your man's meat taste more like, well, meat. (The product has already sold out online.)

And what better to rinse with afterwards than some bacon mouth wash. Procter & Gamble introduced their new product recently, stating that it keeps your breath minty fresh five times longer than brushing alone.

According to HuffPo, "Scope Bacon won't make your breath smell like bacon -- it just tastes like bacon when swished in your mouth. It's made with a synthetic bacon flavoring instead of real bacon, which probably explains why Scope doesn't recommend using Scope as a breakfast replacement."

It might sound like some sort of joke, but the reps from Procter & Gamble insist that it's real.

A girl can dream, right?

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