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Arts and Entertainment

Writer Auditions For Disney Cruise Line, Documents Experience For VICE

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Have you ever wondered what it's like to audition for a Disney Cruise Line? Whether you'd be asked to belt classic tunes while wearing a taffeta dress, or questioned to find out how heavily you can sugarcoat everything you say for hours on end?

In order to find out, one woman braved the try-outs and documented her experience for VICE.

Echo Park-based scribe Julia Prescott writes that she grew up wanting to be an actress, but even after that dream died—as it is wont to do—she still let her friend convince her to head up to North Hollywood and try for the hugely coveted parts:

Like any living human being, I love Disney stuff...I’d be lying if I said I didn’t secretly dream about being a Jungle Cruise skipper from time to time...So I decided it was time to go to this audition to “lift the veil,” so to speak, and stare directly into the flames
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Prescott and her friend quickly realized that they were surrounded by scary theater people:

The "Geisha Preteen" who had layered on an “Am I Pretty Now, Mother?” amount of blush; the dancer with the thong leotard and tiny shorts that barely covered her rear; the six-foot-two 18-year-old who paced back and forth in front of the entire rehearsal room.

And ultimately flubbed the audition, which required more dancing than anything else:

I danced with a smile plastered on my face, pretended just hard enough to have fun, messed up every kick, and then, anticlimax complete, took my seat again in the back of the room.

The story sounds like kind of a nightmare, unless you're into competing with hugely high-strung drama folk for the chance to live in the middle of the ocean for six months, constantly faced with the threat of pulling a Titanic or being eaten by sharks.

We, for one, are not.