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Who Needs Hockey? Here's the College Football Television Listings!
You should be reading about the Kings raising a Stanley Cup Championship banner at STAPLES Center, a sold-out crowd of 18,118 on their feet while the Kings have their final public celebration of the franchise's first championship. Finally above the retired numbers and the cringing embarrassment of their 1990-91 Smythe Division and 1992-93 Campbell Conference banners, they have a real banner up there in the rafters.
The New York Rangers should be in town as the main concern for the Kings would be to get their minds off the Cup and back onto the game as they open their title defense. Bailey running around the arena, the ice girls scooping up the ice shavings during commercial breaks, chants of "Let's Go Kings."
But here we are twiddling our thumbs because the NHL owners and the players' association could not sign a collective bargaining agreement. The owners, as always, claim poverty (which also implies complete incompetency on their part), and the players are led by Donald Fehr, the mastermind of the 1994 baseball strike and the reason why baseball had no drug test until Jose Canseco blew the lid on the issue.
The league has already cancelled the first two weeks of the season, and the next ax to fall is all games up to and including the Winter Classic at the Big House on Jan. 1.
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Of course I'm writing this under the delusion that anyone in this city knows what hockey is. It might as well be known as the sport that makes the STAPLES Center unbearably cold and where porn stars get to smash their tits against the glass to taunt opposing head coaches.
USC and UCLA football are playing. The Lakers and the Clippers are preparing their seasons. And as each day ticks down with no hockey, will anyone care once they return?
So instead of hearing this tonight:
I got to watch the Yankees and Cardinals clinch a spot in their respective League Championship Series. And instead of going to the Toyota Sports Center to cover Kings practice on Saturday, I'll be at Santa Anita Park watching the horses run the California Cup Races.
It's all right. As much as I became a huge fan of the game over the past several years, there are other things to keep me occupied.
That sentence should have the NHL and the players' union trembling especially since their grip in the sports world is tenuous at best. They're taking a huge gamble alienating fans in favor of pocketing a couple more shekels.
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But of course fans will flock right back to the arena once the lockout is over, right?
Here are the college football television listings:
Oklahoma at Texas. 9:00 a.m. ABC.
Auburn at Mississippi. 9:00 a.m. KDOC.
Kansas State at Iowa State. 9:00 a.m. FX.
Louisville at Pittsburgh. 9:00 a.m. ESPNU.
Iowa at Michigan State. 9:00 a.m. ESPN.
Northwestern at Minnesota. 9:00 a.m. ESPN2.
Alabama-Birmingham at Houston. 9:00 a.m. FSWest.
Kent State at Army. 9:00 a.m. CBS Sports Net.
Brown at Princeton. 9:00 a.m. NBC Sports Net.
North Carolina at Miami (FL). 11:30 a.m. ESPNU.
Utah at UCLA. Noon, Fox.
Maryland at Virginia. Noon, Prime Ticket.
Nevada at UNLV. Noon, TWC Sports Net.
Lindsey Wilson at Campbellsville. Noon, Fox College Sports Atlantic.
Alabama at Missouri. 12:30 p.m. CBS.
Stanford at Notre Dame. 12:30 p.m. NBC.
Oregon State at BYU. 12:30 p.m. ABC.
Illinois at Michigan. 12:30 p.m. ESPN.
Oklahoma State at Kansas. 12:30 p.m. FSWest.
Texas-San Antonio at Rice. 12:30 p.m. Fox College Sports Pacific.
Bucknell at Harvard. 12:30 p.m. CBS Sports Net.
Fresno State at Boise State. 12:30 p.m. NBC Sports Net.
Boston College at Florida State. 2:30 p.m. ESPN2.
Florida at Vanderbilt. 3:00 p.m. ESPNU.
Colorado State at San Diego State. 3:45 p.m. TWC Sports Net.
USC at Washington. 4:00 p.m. Fox.
TCU at Baylor. 4:00 p.m. FSWest.
Kentucky at Arkansas. 4:00 p.m. Prime Ticket.
South Carolina at LSU. 5:00 p.m. ESPN.
Southern Mississippi at Central Florida. 5:00 p.m. CBS Sports Net.
Tennessee at Mississippi State. 6:00 p.m. ESPN2.
Texas A&M at Louisiana Tech. 6:15 p.m. ESPNU.
California at Washington State. 7:30 p.m. Pac-12 Net.
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