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Keeping It Classy: GQ Calls Lakers Fans "Starfuckers"

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Congratulations, Lakers fans! In a GQ list of the "Worst Sports Fans in America," you have been deemed "Starfuckers." The magazine says devotees to the NBA's purple-and-gold team are "fair weather," because they abandoned the team when Magic Johnson left in 1991, and did the same in 2004 when Shaquille O'Neal moved on.

Plus, says the magazine, the crowd at Staples is more of a "bar scene" than a ball game, with fans in the seats who "can't be bothered to clap—their hands are too busy texting." (Ever try to teach an English 101 class, GQ? Welcome to the txt generation.) Pre-occupied d-bags can then schmooze over plates of $21 nachos (well, that's true) and get their cars brought around by the valet when it's time to go.

Of course, not all the fans can afford to ignore the game in person, and GQ seems to forget that some of the fans who aren't starfuckers are really destructive fuckers. You know, the kind who like to set things on fire and smash up a bunch of cars...because the team they love won the big championship.

And what about the in-between folks? The long-standing fans who stuck through the Magic-less or Shaq-less years, the ones who cheered without turning over a taxicab when the team took the championship, or the ones who watch the game attentively? Sorry, guys. Once again, Los Angeles is all about the celeb factor.