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Nothing Is Awesome Except For This Game We Made Up About Groundhog Day

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OK campers, rise and shine and don't forget to stay home today, because there's a highly contagious virus out there.

Indeed, we are all trapped inside a palm tree-filled snow globe for the foreseeable future, and if there's another marmot movie that's as good as Groundhog Day at depicting this specific type of existential despair, I haven't seen it.

(Illustration by Chava Sanchez)
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So, let's play a game.

Tell us what Groundhog Day day you're living in right now.

Are you stuck in a day where Phil performs a new skill, or has your brush with infinite time been more like the day he grins warmly and punches Ned in the face?

Maybe you're having a Phil-eats-everything-at-the-diner day. Or maybe you're metaphorically letting the groundhog drive the truck. Perhaps your loop falls on this super, major, extra, very bleak day.

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By some estimates, you have 12,403 days, 38 days, 10 years, 30-40 years, or 8 years, 8 months, and 16 days to choose from as you figure out where you are on the Phil Conners arc.

OK, we'll start.

Lisa Brenner:

I'm the day Phil stares down cosmic meaninglessness and delivers with abdication and transcendent sarcasm the following hot take on a cold day:

"This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather."

Ryan Fonseca:

Ryan did not name his day. But he did write instructive parody lyrics to the Pennsylvania Polka. Outlets for stress take many forms.

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🎶Stay home, don't panic,
but please wash your hands
It's the co-rona-virus 🎶

Megan Garvey:

She's the one who cooked up this idea, which is likely a symptom/coping mechanism/cry for help for not sleeping in more than two weeks, because pandemic. Her Groundhog Day day looks like this:

"I'm on the first piano lesson day. I'll pay $1,000 dollars to kick out the poor kid so I can get going on mastering this new universe. It might not be perfect, but I know I have many more lessons ahead."

Now it's your turn.
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Play along and tell us what day you're having. We anxiously await your insights.

And if you want extra credit, see if you can help connect the lyric-to-scene dots on a longstanding feeling that the bed and breakfast in Punxsutawney has something to do with Hotel California.

I got you, babe.