Totally Genius Smoker Slaps Deputy So She Can Quit Smoking...By Going To Jail
One very determined lady came up with a novel way of quitting those cancer sticks: she decided to slap a deputy so that she would end up in jail, where she wouldn't be able to smoke (flying in the face of everything we learned about jail from Lady Gaga).
On Tuesday, Etta Mae Lopez, 31, hung around a jail facility in Sacramento along with the usual crowd of family members. She came across Sacramento County sheriff's Deputy Matt Campoy just as he was leaving his shift, and she went ahead and just slapped him in the face, according to the Associated Press. He responded by grabbing her and taking her inside the jail. When he turned her loose inside, she slapped his arm again.
Once she was handcuffed she explained her GENIUS strategy to him. Campoy told the Sacramento Bee: "She waited all day for a deputy to come out because she knew if she assaulted a deputy she would go to jail and be inside long enough to quit her smoking habit."
And hey, everything seems to be going well according to her master plan: Lopez pleaded no contest to misdemeanor battery on a peace office. She was sentenced to 63 days in jail. She was also sentenced to five days for violating her probation from a 2010 drunk-driving conviction. She's also not supposed to have any contact with deputies.
In the meantime, Campoy has come up with a new nickname for himself: "I've been telling everybody that I have a new Irish name: Nick O'Derm."