Dane Cook Visits the Blogghetto, Amy Winehouse Performs
6:36 - Total Number of Celebs Who Have Visited the Blogghetto: 1.
6:34 - Dane Cook visits us in the Blogghetto. Despite my lack of interest in his comedy, he seems like a laid back, personable dude. Even though I like capping on him, I really don't dislike him. He gamely answers questions, revealing why he won't be in the upcoming Transformers movie. "I know this is going to sound like complete balderdash," he says, "but the reason I'm not in Transformers is because I really wanted to be in a scene with a Transformer. But due to time and budget constraints, the director, Michael Bay, told me that couldn't happen. So I said, if I can't be in a scene WITH a Transformer, I just want to be a fan!" He reveals that his shirt did not cost $600, that in fact it probably cost about $17.50. It looks like he's telling the truth.
6:30 - As usual, Amy Winehouse has applied her eyeliner with a trowel. As usual, Amy Winehouse sings in her smoky, sultry style. People might criticize her look, but I Googled Amy Winehouse to find pictures of her before she went all Rosie-the-Riveter-Meets-Bride-of-Frankenstein, and I discovered one inescapable yet little known fact. If Amy Winehouse weren't all tatted out and made up like she is, she'd look just like a hundred girls I knew from Hebrew school.
6:29 - Bruce Willis comes out to introduce Amy Winehouse who's goign to sing "Rehab." As he does he offers her an oddly emphatic congratulations on her recent marriage.
6:28 - United 300 wins for Best Movie Spoof. The winner, a Kevin Smith look-alike named Andy, gives a speech about how his movie isn't a spoof of tragedy (like there was some controversy, like anybody really cared), it's a statement against tyranny. Oh.
6:26 - Sam Jackson in his trademark Kangol cap (he must have stock options in that company), announces the nominees for MTV's first user-generated award, Best Movie Spoof. Will it be United 300, Texas Chainsaw Rehab, Little Miss Squirtgun?
6:25 - Sipping more SoCo. At this point it's not for fun, it's for survival. The Blogghetto is air-conditioned to a frighteningly cold degree. Hell, I'm stepping outside just to keep warm.