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Charlie Sheen Beats Drug Dependency Faster Than Anyone Else on the Planet, Ever

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You know, people really overestimate how long it takes a person to deal with decades of recurring drug problems. Take Charlie Sheen, for example! Sure, it may seem like he's been dealing with massive addiction issues lately, and yes, it's possible that his publicist mentioned that he had checked into rehab. But he's fine now, guys! Stop being such sticks-in-the-mud! In fact, Sheen is so very fine that he told TV host Dan Patrick that it's not his fault that filming of his show, "Two and a Half Men," hasn't resumed since he was taken to the hospital with a hernia (and that's all!) -- it's the fault of producers. According to NPR:

In an interview on 'The Dan Patrick Show,' which airs in syndication on radio and on satellite TV provider DirecTV, Sheen said he was prepared to get back on the set but those in charge of the series weren't. "They said, `You get ready and we'll get ready.' And I got ready and went back and nobody's there," he said. "I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it, you know?"

It's hard to understand -- Sheen has shown a deep commitment to getting his life back on track and dealing with the issues behind his illegal drug use, and no one's taking him seriously. Which is just so unfair, since he clearly has such a solid grasp of the havoc that drugs like crack cocaine can, and do, wreak on people's lives:
In the interview with former ESPN anchor Patrick, Sheen acknowledged that he's had "some problems lately" and said staying away from crack cocaine is good advice unless a person can "manage it socially." Asked if he could, Sheen replied, "Yeah, yeah, but that kinda blew up in my face ... like an exploding crack pipe."