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So Bad They're Good: The Awful Movies We Can't Help But Love
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Trainwrecks, Campfests & Head-Scratchers – What Are The Bad Movies You Can’t Help But Love?
This is a story about a girl named Nomi Malone. A girl who just wants to dance, and arrives in Las Vegas bright-eyed, hungry for the spotlight, and–wait, sorry, that’s the plot of the 1995 camp-classic Showgirls. Today on AirTalk: Johnny, a banker, gets caught in a love triangle with his future wife Lisa and his–argh, nope, that’s Tommy Wiseau’s The Room, a movie so bad it should be studied in a lab. Today on Madame WebTalk AirTalk, bad movies take over. You know, the ones that, despite being incompetently written, acted, directed, and (probably) catered, have taken on a special place in your heart. What makes a bad movie great? And why can’t we look away? We want to hear your picks! Give us a call at 866-893-5722 or email us at atcomments@laist.com. Joining us to talk loveable schlock is Christy Lemire, film critic whose writing appears at RogerEbert.com and through her Saturday Matinee newsletter at ChristyLemire.com. She co-hosts the Breakfast All Day YouTube channel and podcast.
Saturday, March 9 marks Hollywood’s other biggest night: the Razzies. It’s a time to celebrate the silly, sloppy, and schlocky movies that we love to hate and (maybe) hate to love.
While most in the film industry would probably prefer not to be remembered for the worst thing they ever made professionally, there is the occasional Razzie winner who leans in. Take 2004, when Halle Berry won the Razzie for Worst Actress for her leading role in the cinematographic debacle that was Catwoman. Not only did Berry show up to the ceremony to accept her award, she brought the Oscar she won in 2002 for Monster's Ball on stage for her speech.
(Berry later revealed that she set the award on fire after the ceremony, but attended to make a point about actors taking themselves too seriously.)
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The Razzies have been celebrating Tinseltown’s dreck for 44 years and counting but they’ve surely missed a few stinkers along the way, which is where AirTalk, LAist’s daily news program, comes in. Host Larry Mantle, film critic Christy Lemire, and their intrepid listeners took a rip-roaring ride through some of the most beloved dumpster fires in film.
“Any movie that puts itself out there and does something daring and different and fails is much more exciting than playing it safe. We review so many movies every year as film critics and most of them fall in that two to two-and-a-half star realm. I'd rather have a really interesting flop,” explained Lemire.
Well, flops they got. Here are some that stood out.
Xanadu
The story: An artist falls for a roller-skating Olivia Newton-John. Travels to Mount Olympus ensue.
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Hot take: Says Christy Lemire, “When you're a kid, Olivia Newton-John is so pretty and she can roller skate and sing at the same time and she seems so nice. But Xanadu was notoriously a flop because it was really terrible.”
Zardoz
The story: A giant head (the titular Zardoz) floats through a wasteland populated by dueling “Eternals” and “Brutals.” Sean Connery is there too, wearing a red diaper.
Hot take: “I saw it under the influence of a powerful hallucinogen and thought it was the best film that had ever been made,” said Mike in Beverly Hills.
The Crawling Eye
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The story: A radioactive cloud’s reign of terror in the Swiss Alps.
Hot take: This is one of Larry Mantle’s favorites: “My wife, Kristen, walked out of the room in shock that I was actually watching this on TV a couple of years ago.”
The Rains of Ranchipur
The story: Lana Turner vs. cholera.
Hot take: One critic deemed it the story of “a woman redeemed by the removal of her makeup.”
Showgirls
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The story: Dancer Elizabeth Berkley arrives in Vegas with nothing but a dream, a leotard and a kick-ass manicure.
Hot take: “I actually saw Showgirls with my husband as an early date and 26 years later, we're still married. So Showgirls couldn't ruin our marriage,” said Lemire.
Cats
The story: They sing! They dance! They’re cats!
Hot take: Doug in Los Feliz called it, “a huge confusing how-did-this-get-made frolic.”
The Core
The story: The Earth’s core has stopped spinning, so naturally Hilary Swank needs to nuke it.
Hot take: It climaxes with the space shuttle landing in the L.A. River. “Just awful and good,” said Kim in Glendora.
Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
The story: You get one guess.
Hot take: “The whole thing had a budget of like $5,000. Between Jesus fighting the atheist clown car via kung fu, the musical number in the middle and the Mexican luchador, El Santo, coming in to help save the day at the end … you can't go wrong with something this bad,” said Brian in Irvine.
Honorable mentions
Listeners also mentioned Grease 2, Anaconda, Manos: The Hands of Fate, Twilight, My New Gun, Con Air, She Devil, Troll 2, Big Ass Spider!, The Sandpiper, Street Fighter, Absolute Beginners, Amazon Women on the Moon, Plan 9 From Outer Space, & The Apple,
Christy Lemire got the last word: “Part of the fun with these so-bad-they're-good movies is to experience them in a crowd and feel that big cathartic laughter. There's just pure joy in that."
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Listen
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Trainwrecks, Campfests & Head-Scratchers – What Are The Bad Movies You Can’t Help But Love?
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