On Día De Los Muertos, LGBTQ+ Latinos Navigate Grief With Celebration

This Wednesday marks the start of Day of the Dead, a celebration that’s popular in Latino cultures where people can remember their late loved ones and, according to the tradition, reunite with them.

In Boyle Heights, a community organization used this time to bring Latino and LGBTQ+ cultures together.

A traditional celebration

On a recent Saturday, the street in front of Mi Centro, Boyle Heights’ LGBTQ+ center, became a bit of a party. Colorful paper cutouts, papel picado, hung in the air and catrinas, or elegantly dressed skeletons, stood tall with marigolds and rainbow flags in hand.

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“It's very intergenerational. In the Latino family, we celebrate from birth all the way to the end of life,” said Eddie Martinez, the executive director of Latino Equality Alliance. “Once someone passes on, we never forget those memories, and we never forget their love.”

Roughly 500 people showed up for the special Día de los Muertos gathering, the Latino Equality Alliance’s Calavera LGBTQ Festival, now in its 8th year.

Eddie Martinez, executive director of Latino Equality Alliance, at the Calavera LGBTQ Festival.

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At the gathering, LGBTQ+ Latino artists lined the street with homemade jewelry and other goods. Attendees got ready to observe a large ofrenda, or altar, that was filled with photos of friends and family who had passed.

“For myself, I lost my dad earlier this year in January,” Martinez said. “He was experiencing some health issues. To me, and to every person in this community, it’s this time period where we get to reflect.”

Ofrendas are a traditional way to honor Día de los Muertos. Framed photos go on the ledge. And that person’s favorite things, like pan dulce, a drink, or other personal items are added. The idea is to put out the things they loved the most to enhance the ability of their spirit to come and visit.

Ofrendas also have candles and marigolds to light the way to the living. But first, this ofrenda was honored with a blessing and dance. Angel Elizalde is a program coordinator for Latino Equality Alliance and a member of a dancing group based in South Los Angeles, Coatlicue Tonantzin Danza Azteca.

Angel Elizalde prepares to bless the ofrenda with Coatlicue Tonantzin: Danza Azteca.

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“I'd like to say a special prayer for everyone who we've lost due to violence, homophobia, transphobia,” Elizalde told the crowd, “and those who lost their lives crossing the border looking for a better future.”

Elizalde ushered the crowd down to the community ofrenda. It was a somber moment where everyone circled as Elizalde’s group, adorned with feathered headdresses and skeleton facepaint, danced around the display.

Drums pounded with a building urgency that could be felt with every beat as he burned copal, incense made of tree resin that’s traditionally used as another element to draw in the spirits. Once the blessing finished, friends and families paid their respects.

The Calavera LGBTQ Festival's community altar.

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A collection of the deceased's favorite foods and drinks are a staples in ofrendas.

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The growing community space

Mi Centro’s celebration is getting bigger.

Students from Mendez High School performed folklórico dancing. A drag competition took place called Mx. Calavera, a play on the Spanish for a sugar skull. Mauro Cuchi, a drag king, won that competition between drag artists Ruthless Envy and Electra LaKill with their performance based on Morticia and Gomez Addams from the Addams Family.

According to Martinez, the festival’s first year only took up a parking lot of space. But this year, they took over a neighborhood street block. He said it’s common for folks who live nearby to walk into any of the events they put on, so this day is an extension of the relationships they’re building.

Even the vendors felt the community vibe. Bunny Rosas, an HIV counselor, was there with VIA Care, a medical clinic based in East LA. But Rosas showed up for both work and personal reasons.

“I feel like it's really important to have spaces like these because a lot of us may not have any communication with our family due to our identity,” Rosas said. “I feel like a lot of times — well, at least in my own personal experience — I've had to grieve alone a lot.”

Mendez High School Folklorico performing at the Calavera LGBTQ Festival.

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Among the groups tabling was the Southern California chapter of Free Mom Hugs, an organization that was started by an Oklahoma City mom who struggled to accept her son until she decided to make a change. Leslie Almeida volunteered to come because it’s in her community and she believes it helps people to see others show support with different life experiences.

“There's not enough acceptance,” Almeida said. “I think to see a Latina mama here is really important for folks.”

According to a 2020 survey, Latino LGBTQ+ people have less access to quality and affordable mental health care. And the community is growing — a 2022 poll showed that more Latinos are self-describing themselves as part of the LGBTQ+ community than other groups.

Creating an inclusive celebration

Kevin Al Perez, the co-founder of Somos Familia Valle, came with friends to the event. He said growing up, there wasn’t an LGBTQ connection to Día de los Muertos, so he’s glad this place exists.

Many of the folks in attendance knew someone who was on the community ofrenda, including Perez. This year, Perez’s friend Ernesto, who did HIV work in Latino communities, was on the altar. And at his home, ofrendas are always set up.

Kevin Al Perez at the Calavera LGBTQ Festival.

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“Our grandparents are there,” he said. “I’m Guatemalan so we have a Quetzal little figure in there, so it's cute.” (The Quetzal is the national bird of Guatemala.)

Perez said these are times where Latino LGBTQ+ people can build stronger connections between every side of who they are, such as having conversations about family acceptance, queer history, and all-around acknowledging that intersectional identity exists.

“We're your neighbors,” Perez said. “We also work and play and celebrate Día de los Muertos.”

Liseth Flores, who’s on the board of Latino Equality Alliance, came with her husband and two small kids because she wants to instill family and Mexican traditions into them. This will be the first year that they’ll have an ofrenda at home.

“It's going to consist of our dogs, our uncles and families,” Flores said.

But there’s another reason she wanted to come, outside of being part of the organization that put this on. She believes that her presence as a parent helps more families connect with inclusive gatherings like this.

“I think that if more of us parents that are true allies were to be here and be present, it would motivate others to come out and to see this,” she said.

And for anyone who may be honoring Día de los Muertos for the first time, Kevin Al Perez has some advice:

“Just celebrate your loved ones. And remember, part of the healing process of someone who you've lost is celebrating them and acknowledging the happiness and all the positive things that they did when they existed.”