The Brief

Carol always knew something was "off" for her during sex.

"At one point I even thought I might have been asexual because I just wasn't getting what other people would talk about all the time," she told Larry Mantle on AirTalk, LAist 89.3's daily news program.

It took Carol a long time to figure out that nothing was wrong with her, she just had a missing kink.

That kink? Spanking.

At 74 years old and 52 years into her marriage, Carol discovered she loves to be spanked.

"It just took a long time to figure this out because my access to computers and things were limited, and I just didn't know," she said. "I didn't have the time to explore me!"

Her husband doesn't necessarily have the same kink, but that hasn't stopped him from leaning into his partner's pleasure.

"He noticed every time we do this, how much happier I am. If I'm cranky or we're fighting it will change the mood like an instant pill. We have never laughed and joyed and played so much in 52 years than we have this past year," Carol said.

Kink may not be what you think

The art of Shibari

(

Nora Last

/

Nora Last

)

Kink and BDSM (Bondage-Discipline, Dominance-Submission, Sado-Masochism) conjure up certain images in popular culture. Take the Blockbuster hit 50 Shades of Gray, which delved into fantasies of violent sex in which Christian Grey, a handsome business man, wants his love interest to be submissive. While this is a common kink played out in private spaces, BDSM practitioners were quick to weigh in on all that was missing from the film's depictions — communication, context, and most importantly, consent.

"We have two dominant paradigms around kink," said Nora Last, owner of Double Mask Studio, a queer owned and operated Shibari studio located in downtown L.A. Shibari is a type of bondage practice (more on that further down).

A couple paradigms include "a slender guy in a suit and a girl in a dress kneeling in front of him," or, Last continued, "a conventionally attractive woman in spiked heels and latex."

"They’re lovely, but we’re really limiting ourselves and not giving ourselves enough credit if we stop imagining there," said Last.

Finding your kink

Nora Last at her studio Devil Mask Studios in DTLA

(

Nora Last

/

Nora Last

)

Kinks come in all styles and flavors. You've got your more common asphyxiation kink, also known as "breath play," to your spitting kink, where two consenting adults enjoy spitting in each others mouths. Suffice to say, kinks run the gamut.

"What if we want to [explore kink] in a cozy onesie? Or outside of the white, hetero roles?" Last said. "If you’ve never seen yourself represented, you might not know how to explore them."

Like Carol, who discovered her kink for spanking at age 74, many people may have dormant kinks they haven't yet realized.

This is something Jean Franzblau experienced. She's an intimacy coordinator in the entertainment industry who wrote and stars in the one-woman play My Mother Doesn’t Know I’m Kinky.

Jean Franzblau

(

Courtesy Jean Franzblau

)

"I was shocked to find out I was a kinky woman," Franzblau said.

After the end of a relationship, Franzblau said her sexuality "shut down."

Jean Franzblau performs her play "My Mother Doesn't Know I'm Kinky"

(

Courtesy Jean Franzblau

)

"When I got out of it, I became dedicated, committed, to exploring for myself and finding my own sexual sovereignty," she said.

With newly granted self-permission, Franzblau discovered that both sides of the dominance-submission coin were intriguing to her. Her exploration began with submission. When she found a partner interested in dominance, they had the necessary conversations about consent and negotiation.

"I thought I was going to have maybe a titillating experience, maybe I would learn something new," she said. "Instead, I would consider it a spiritual experience. I wept. There was something in me that needed to surrender."

For many folks, finding your kink is just the first step. The next step? Finding a safe space and people with whom to express it.

Freeing your kink

Today, there are ample spaces that provide safe and playful settings for adults to explore their sexuality. One of those spaces is Nora Last's studio in Downtown L.A. where the focus is on Shibari, the Japanese art of erotic bondage.

"We define it most broadly as rope bondage," Last said, "Whether that is for sensation, whether that is for sexual gratification, and that references specific aesthetics and styles coming from Japanese rope bondage."

Nora Last on the beach practicing the erotic bondage art of Shibari

(

Courtesy Nora Last

)

Shibari is one of the many styles of kink or eroticism that people can play with — play being the operative word.

"At its core, kink is about creating a container for intimacy. It can be sexual, emotional," they said. "Creating a container for a focused, specific experience. It’s part of our core human desire."

A San Francisco-based kink educator named Midori, whom Last admires, writes "BDSM is childhood joyous play, with adult sexual privilege, and cool toys."

Last adds, "So much of it comes down to…why not? There’s a harsh dichotomy between kinky and vanilla, queer and hetero. It’s not as harsh of a line as we think it is."

Therein lies the nuance. To be kinky or not to be kinky was never the question.

Nora Last tied up in Shibari in a public park

(

Courtesy Nora Last

)

Talking with partners

When it comes to kink, Franzblau's hope for everyone in a partnership is that they can candidly talk about the places they connect and the places they don't.

"Are we here to control each other or to encourage each other's greatness or well-being?" Franzblau said.

She acknowledges that it can be totally heartbreaking when partners don't see eye to eye. But, she adds, "What's wonderful about this moment in time is that there are a lot of resources for navigating these extremely tricky conversations."

For kink and BDSM communities that have been historically stigmatized, Franzblau and Last are two people among many trying to change that. Arguably, their most powerful and subversive statements? Their kinks.

Thoughts from our listeners

DeLinda in Orange County: Many people find the over dramatized choking, slapping, lead-movement as dominating, but I've associated that with a type of uncontrolled and unpredictability and objectification that made me feel more separated from my partner and detached from my body.

After 15 years of searching, I have found a partner who was excited and curious to take the action and to explore Shibari with me once I expressed interest. Stepping into expansion together and hearing him share the important safety things he's taken time to learn online about consent and comfort had really built my trust for him and our access to fun and connectivity to my own body and the to our interaction in our privacy.

Other partners expressed interest, but no one took action and really stepped into it like I have gotten to with him and it's really been a beautiful shared art together. Yes delight, joy and creation. Thank you being brave and shedding light on this topic.

Leo in Burbank: Be cautious, the same person that trusts you with their kink may punish you with ostracism for knowing about it down the road. You have a wonderful experience sharing unique ideas, the next minute you realize you were trusted because you were expendable.

Danny in Long Beach: Thank you very much for discussing BDSM and Kink. It made me feel seen, accepted, and understood. I'm glowing. I've been engaged in kink and rope play for about seven years now. I discovered these interests in my 40s. I'm now near 50. And it's been the best decade of my life.

I'm married, have been for 29 years. And I've consensually gone outside my marriage to explore myself and interests. I now have multiple loves. My wife and I love each other more now than ever.

Listen to the full conversation:

The Rocky Mountain Biological Laboratory may run the second-longest study of  individually identifiable mammals in the world, but they’re not afraid of trying something new.

The lab is launching a bracket-style competition, Fat Marmot Week, for people all over the world to vote for their favorite chunky ground squirrel.

The UCLA researchers who work there have faced a loss of federal funding in recent years, so they’re now pursuing creative fundraising efforts, including a (G-rated) OnlyFans account for marmot content called OnlyMarms and a meme coin created by supporters of the project.

Where the idea came from

Dan Blumstein, a UCLA ecology and evolutionary biology professor who came up with OnlyMarms, said he’s wanted to do a Fat Marmot Week ever since the success of Fat Bear Week, in which the public votes on grizzly bears bulking up for the winter in Alaska. But it took two of his graduate researchers, Katie Adler and Emily Renkey, along with another volunteer who helps with logistics, to see it to fruition.

“ Science isn't just writing the papers, it's also the communication side of things,” said Adler, who’s also the lab’s field team leader.

Like bears, marmots prepare for the winter by fattening up, with some more than doubling in weight from about 5.5 pounds to as much as 13. But unlike bears, marmots are true hibernators. For months, their body temperature drops very low, and they breathe and have a heartbeat about once a minute. (Blumstein described a hibernating marmot as “sort of a fuzzy stone.”)

These two specimens are called Dawn and Dan's Hat.

(

Courtesy Dan Blumstein/UCLA

)

Adler said she likes highlighting what makes the portly rodents interesting, which is harder “ when you're covered in marmot poop and sweating your butt off.”

“I think it’s fun to think of this from an outside perspective – why do we like marmots and how can we share that with other people?” Rankey said.

About the marmots

The marmots are all given names to help tell them apart based on markings the researchers dye on their fur.

Their names range from Dawn, who is reportedly a “a very special boy who enjoys the taste of rocks,” to a “proud mama” named 1 and a “girl boss” with no mate named Open Kite.

“Our parties are quite boring to other people because all we do is talk about the marmots,” Blumstein said. “It's a soap opera.”

Funding troubles

Faced with federal funding cuts, Blumstein realized he had to get creative in order to keep research going, starting with the OnlyMarms account.

But he said he wasn’t expecting the “extraordinary” response – the meme coin has made more than $100,000 in transaction fees, though it’s still short of the $225,000 to $300,000 they need to fundraise to bring in another graduate student for further research.

Blumstein said while all funding is welcome, including the OnlyMarms subscriptions, it’s much easier for them to accept direct donations for tax purposes. The money will go to support researchers like Renkey and Adler’s contributions to the nearly 65 years of marmot research at the lab.

The tournament

Eight competitors will face off — five females and three males. There’ll also be a “true” winner who’s announced at the end based on the lab’s measurements on which marmot gained the most weight this spring and summer.

The first round of voting will be Monday, Aug. 24, followed by the semifinals on Wednesday, Aug. 26, and the final showdown on Friday, Aug. 28. Voting runs from 6 a.m. to 6 p.m. PDT.

“Everyone should vote. It's very exciting,” Renkey said. “They're huge this summer.”

The younger bald eagle that Shadow has been seen hanging out with around Big Bear’s famous nest lately has a new name.

The bird, which is believed to be a female, is banded as KD1. Friends of Big Bear Valley, the nonprofit that runs the popular YouTube livestream, has dubbed her Kaydee.

The organization generally doesn’t name visiting eagles, but Kaydee is sticking around so far and could become a new online star after Shadow’s long-time mate Jackie died last week.

So, who is this new eagle in the nest?

One expert told LAist that Kaydee is more than 4 years old and was probably wandering much further than Big Bear before it was spotted on camera.

“This is kind of the banders dream, right? You put bands on a bird so that you can possibly get … a one-off observation of where it is at some point in its life, and we're getting way, way more than that,” said Jenna Carpenter, a field biologist and environmental specialist with the Orange County Water District.

“In this instance, we're getting 24/7 views and people are so tuned into it that they're keeping really good track of where KD1 is, and it's really awesome.”

Meet Kaydee

Kaydee was first recorded on the livestream cameras in the Big Bear habitat on Aug. 6 — a few days before Jackie died — according to Friends of Big Bear Valley.

The nonprofit said the eagle started to perch by Shadow in several trees, which it has continued to do in the weeks since. The group recently referred to Kaydee as Shadow’s “shadow.”

Kaydee is from the Prado Basin area, where its parents Ricky and Lucy nest nearby. Carpenter said Ricky and Lucy have raised around a dozen eaglets since 2021, when they first started setting up shop in the area.

The eagle wears two bracelet-like bands on its legs, including a lavender-colored one, which can be used to track Kaydee in different areas.

“If someone sees [the color band] with a scope or binoculars or a zoom camera, it can be reported and put into a research database, which adds to the opportunity to progress conservation for raptors and eagles,” Carpenter said.

You can learn more about reporting a bird with a federal band or color marker here.

Will Kaydee stick with Shadow?

Kaydee is what's known as a subadult eagle, a stage in which Carpenter said raptors are still trying to figure out what they want to do and where they want to be.

“Big Bear’s a nice habitat, obviously they've been visiting this nest, you know, there's some interest there whatever it may be,” she said. “So it's possible that they stick around and find a mate, whether that be Shadow or another adult eagle.”

But it’s also possible Kaydee moves onto another habitat after the off-season. Whatever happens, Carpenter said us humans get to go along for the ride through the livestream, which she described as a privilege.

“We get this chance to witness something that we would not normally get to witness, because we know exactly who this bird is and we happen to have cameras in the area,” she said. “It might be everything and it might be nothing, and either way, I think that's really exciting that we get to have a little peek into this world.”

The Esquivel family opened their first taqueria at Playas de Tijuana 15 years ago, with a focus on individually crafted tacos, each with its own pairing of salsa.

Since then, Taqueria Tijuanero — formerly Tijuanazo — has become an increasingly popular SoCal taco chain.

Owner Aria Esquivel sat down with AirTalk Friday host Austin Cross to talk about how it all started from a humble Tijuana brick-and-mortar and how they stay true to their distinct North Mexican menu.

The art of the taco

Esquivel’s father and mastermind behind Taqueria Tijuanero, Antonio Esquivel, began working in kitchens when he was 16 years old, working his way up from dishwasher to cook at French restaurants in Beverly Hills.

“What he really loved about the taco and the art of the taco in Tijuana is how these ingredients mesh so well together,” Esquivel said.

That’s when the family opened up their own restaurant in Playas de Tijuana in 2011.

Mexico's taco diversity

Because of Mexico’s diverse landscape of crops, history and even weather patterns, taco styles can actually vary quite a bit depending on where you are in the country.

“ The tacos in Mexico City are different," Esquivel said. "The tacos in Sonora are different. The Tijuana tacos are different."

Fresh al pastor

(

(Courtesy Taqueria Tijuanero

)

Al pastor taco

(

Courtesy Taqueria Tijuanero

)

Bill Esparza, the James Beard Award-winning food writer who's spent the last two decades chronicling L.A.'s taco scene, helped curate Taqueando After Dark, a new food festival that will feature eight L.A. taco vendors, including Taqueria Tijuanero.

“When I see theirs, I see what I see in Mexico,” Esparza said of Taqueria Tijuanero’s tacos, adding, “It’s a taco that really has a lot of intentionality behind it.”

How to experience Taqueando After Dark festival

Taqueando After Dark takes over Level 8 for two nights, Aug. 27 and 28. (Courtesy of Level 8)

(

Courtesy Taqueando After Dark

)

Read more: LA taqueros meet Baja’s best for two-night DTLA taco festival

New location coming:

• The family is in the process of opening its third SoCal location in Echo Park.

How to visit:

• Address: 355 S Atlantic Blvd., East Los Angeles
• Hours: Closed on Mondays | Tuesday-Sunday, open from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.
• Costs: Tacos are $3.95 each