The Brief

Carol always knew something was "off" for her during sex.

"At one point I even thought I might have been asexual because I just wasn't getting what other people would talk about all the time," she told Larry Mantle on AirTalk, LAist 89.3's daily news program.

It took Carol a long time to figure out that nothing was wrong with her, she just had a missing kink.

That kink? Spanking.

At 74 years old and 52 years into her marriage, Carol discovered she loves to be spanked.

"It just took a long time to figure this out because my access to computers and things were limited, and I just didn't know," she said. "I didn't have the time to explore me!"

Her husband doesn't necessarily have the same kink, but that hasn't stopped him from leaning into his partner's pleasure.

"He noticed every time we do this, how much happier I am. If I'm cranky or we're fighting it will change the mood like an instant pill. We have never laughed and joyed and played so much in 52 years than we have this past year," Carol said.

Kink may not be what you think

The art of Shibari

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Nora Last

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Nora Last

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Kink and BDSM (Bondage-Discipline, Dominance-Submission, Sado-Masochism) conjure up certain images in popular culture. Take the Blockbuster hit 50 Shades of Gray, which delved into fantasies of violent sex in which Christian Grey, a handsome business man, wants his love interest to be submissive. While this is a common kink played out in private spaces, BDSM practitioners were quick to weigh in on all that was missing from the film's depictions — communication, context, and most importantly, consent.

"We have two dominant paradigms around kink," said Nora Last, owner of Double Mask Studio, a queer owned and operated Shibari studio located in downtown L.A. Shibari is a type of bondage practice (more on that further down).

A couple paradigms include "a slender guy in a suit and a girl in a dress kneeling in front of him," or, Last continued, "a conventionally attractive woman in spiked heels and latex."

"They’re lovely, but we’re really limiting ourselves and not giving ourselves enough credit if we stop imagining there," said Last.

Finding your kink

Nora Last at her studio Devil Mask Studios in DTLA

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Nora Last

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Nora Last

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Kinks come in all styles and flavors. You've got your more common asphyxiation kink, also known as "breath play," to your spitting kink, where two consenting adults enjoy spitting in each others mouths. Suffice to say, kinks run the gamut.

"What if we want to [explore kink] in a cozy onesie? Or outside of the white, hetero roles?" Last said. "If you’ve never seen yourself represented, you might not know how to explore them."

Like Carol, who discovered her kink for spanking at age 74, many people may have dormant kinks they haven't yet realized.

This is something Jean Franzblau experienced. She's an intimacy coordinator in the entertainment industry who wrote and stars in the one-woman play My Mother Doesn’t Know I’m Kinky.

Jean Franzblau

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Courtesy Jean Franzblau

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"I was shocked to find out I was a kinky woman," Franzblau said.

After the end of a relationship, Franzblau said her sexuality "shut down."

Jean Franzblau performs her play "My Mother Doesn't Know I'm Kinky"

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Courtesy Jean Franzblau

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"When I got out of it, I became dedicated, committed, to exploring for myself and finding my own sexual sovereignty," she said.

With newly granted self-permission, Franzblau discovered that both sides of the dominance-submission coin were intriguing to her. Her exploration began with submission. When she found a partner interested in dominance, they had the necessary conversations about consent and negotiation.

"I thought I was going to have maybe a titillating experience, maybe I would learn something new," she said. "Instead, I would consider it a spiritual experience. I wept. There was something in me that needed to surrender."

For many folks, finding your kink is just the first step. The next step? Finding a safe space and people with whom to express it.

Freeing your kink

Today, there are ample spaces that provide safe and playful settings for adults to explore their sexuality. One of those spaces is Nora Last's studio in Downtown L.A. where the focus is on Shibari, the Japanese art of erotic bondage.

"We define it most broadly as rope bondage," Last said, "Whether that is for sensation, whether that is for sexual gratification, and that references specific aesthetics and styles coming from Japanese rope bondage."

Nora Last on the beach practicing the erotic bondage art of Shibari

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Courtesy Nora Last

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Shibari is one of the many styles of kink or eroticism that people can play with — play being the operative word.

"At its core, kink is about creating a container for intimacy. It can be sexual, emotional," they said. "Creating a container for a focused, specific experience. It’s part of our core human desire."

A San Francisco-based kink educator named Midori, whom Last admires, writes "BDSM is childhood joyous play, with adult sexual privilege, and cool toys."

Last adds, "So much of it comes down to…why not? There’s a harsh dichotomy between kinky and vanilla, queer and hetero. It’s not as harsh of a line as we think it is."

Therein lies the nuance. To be kinky or not to be kinky was never the question.

Nora Last tied up in Shibari in a public park

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Courtesy Nora Last

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Talking with partners

When it comes to kink, Franzblau's hope for everyone in a partnership is that they can candidly talk about the places they connect and the places they don't.

"Are we here to control each other or to encourage each other's greatness or well-being?" Franzblau said.

She acknowledges that it can be totally heartbreaking when partners don't see eye to eye. But, she adds, "What's wonderful about this moment in time is that there are a lot of resources for navigating these extremely tricky conversations."

For kink and BDSM communities that have been historically stigmatized, Franzblau and Last are two people among many trying to change that. Arguably, their most powerful and subversive statements? Their kinks.

Thoughts from our listeners

DeLinda in Orange County: Many people find the over dramatized choking, slapping, lead-movement as dominating, but I've associated that with a type of uncontrolled and unpredictability and objectification that made me feel more separated from my partner and detached from my body.

After 15 years of searching, I have found a partner who was excited and curious to take the action and to explore Shibari with me once I expressed interest. Stepping into expansion together and hearing him share the important safety things he's taken time to learn online about consent and comfort had really built my trust for him and our access to fun and connectivity to my own body and the to our interaction in our privacy.

Other partners expressed interest, but no one took action and really stepped into it like I have gotten to with him and it's really been a beautiful shared art together. Yes delight, joy and creation. Thank you being brave and shedding light on this topic.

Leo in Burbank: Be cautious, the same person that trusts you with their kink may punish you with ostracism for knowing about it down the road. You have a wonderful experience sharing unique ideas, the next minute you realize you were trusted because you were expendable.

Danny in Long Beach: Thank you very much for discussing BDSM and Kink. It made me feel seen, accepted, and understood. I'm glowing. I've been engaged in kink and rope play for about seven years now. I discovered these interests in my 40s. I'm now near 50. And it's been the best decade of my life.

I'm married, have been for 29 years. And I've consensually gone outside my marriage to explore myself and interests. I now have multiple loves. My wife and I love each other more now than ever.

Listen to the full conversation:

NASA astronauts Reid Wiseman, Victor Glover and Christina Koch and Canadian Space Agency astronaut Jeremy Hansen were ensconced in the Orion space capsule when they dropped into the Pacific Ocean off the coast of San Diego at 8:07 p.m. Friday. The USS John P. Murtha is stationed near the splashdown zone to help recover the crew.

The USS John P. Murtha is stationed near the splashdown zone and will help recover the crew. A team will head out to the floating capsule and install an inflatable raft just below Orion's side hatch. The crew will be examined by a flight surgeon, then helped out of the capsule. From the transport ship, they will hitch a ride back to Johnson Space Center in Houston.

Risk of reentry

There's always risk when returning from space. Glover said that he has been thinking about this portion of the mission since he was selected for it back in 2023, and he's been looking forward to it ever since.

"We have to get back," he said from the Orion capsule Wednesday. "There's so much data that you've seen already, but all the good stuff is coming back with us. There's so many more pictures, so many more stories, and, gosh, I haven't even begun to process what we've been through."

To get back, the capsule must hit the atmosphere at a precise angle.

"Let's not beat around the bush," said Jeff Radigan, Artemis II's lead flight director. "We have to hit that angle correctly. Otherwise, we're not going to have a successful reentry."

All eyes will be on the heat shield — this is the piece of hardware beneath the capsule that protects the crew from the extreme temperatures during reentry. NASA tested it out on Artemis I, the previous, uncrewed mission, and found that the heat shield wasn't performing as designed.

NASA mission planners and the Artemis II team worked on a way to mitigate that risk. Instead of "skipping" through the atmosphere like Artemis I, this mission would hit the atmosphere steeper and faster, limiting the time the spacecraft spends in those fiery, energetic moments of reentry.

"It's 13 minutes of things that have to go right," said Radigan. "I have a whole checklist in my head that we're going through of all the things that have to happen."

Mission success

The Artemis II mission is a key flight test for Orion, and thus far, mission managers have been pleased with the results. The spacecraft has taken humans farther from Earth than they've ever been, breaking a record set by Apollo 13 astronauts in 1970.

The crew tested the manual control of the spacecraft, which will be needed for future missions that will dock with a lunar landing system. The mission tested the spacecraft's life support systems and ability to keep four astronauts comfortable within the confined space.

Artemis II returned humans to the moon for the first time since the Apollo program over 50 years ago. And while some astronauts back then did see the far side of the moon, the Artemis II crew was able to observe it from a vantage point never before seen by humans. Their images and geological notes will help better determine what the moon is made of and where it came from.

While some of the astronauts' observations may help scientists understand the distant past, others will help mission managers better plan for the future. Case in point: The crew tested out the very first toilet to go to the moon, and it quickly ran into issues during flight. Multiple times during the trip, the crew had to use manual urinals instead. The issue, NASA said, was not with the toilet itself, but the system that dumps the urine overboard when it gets full.

The Orion capsule will return to NASA's Kennedy Space Center in Florida after the mission, where engineers will examine the spacecraft after its flight, including a closer look at the spacecraft's plumbing. The team will be picking apart the spacecraft to see how it performed — and make any necessary changes ahead of the next mission, Artemis III, set to launch next year.

An L.A. city official sounded the alarm Friday that homeless service providers may go bankrupt or have to lay off staff over major reimbursement delays that still haven’t been fixed by the region’s homeless services agency — despite promises two years ago to fix it.

The L.A. Homeless Services Authority (LAHSA) is late in reimbursing more than $50 million to shelter, housing and other service providers — much of which is more than 90 days overdue — according to a report it issued last month. One service provider said LAHSA is more than 90 days late in reimbursing more than $12 million in invoices to their organization.

”Everybody involved with contracting is frustrated, is angry, is exhausted," said John Wickham, the lead city staff member who presented about the issue to the city council’s Housing and Homelessness Committee on Friday. Wickham said the frustrations are shared by all of the city departments that deal with LAHSA, as well as LAHSA staff and service providers.

Wickham said he’s heard that some service providers may be considering layoffs or even considering filing for bankruptcy because of the delayed payments.

“ When payment delays occur, [service providers] are forced to make difficult decisions that everyone is experiencing right now,” said David Carpio, the chief operating officer for Veteran Social Services, Inc.

Those decisions, he said, include reducing available beds, limiting intake of new people for services, increasing wait times, ending projects — which he said leads to increased homelessness and burden on the city for emergency services calls.

Sharon Sandow, a spokesperson for the city housing department, said the department has paid LAHSA upfront — known as “advances” — so it has cash on hand to pay service providers. Sandow said the city has, at times, borrowed money from the General Fund to make advance payments to LAHSA.

Wickham said advanced payments from the city to LAHSA were being passed “ back and forth and around and around in circles.”

“ I actually haven't been able to get to the bottom of that myself,” Wickham said when asked why that’s happening. “Nobody [can] understand that.”

Wickham said he and colleagues have held over 100 meetings with officials to try to understand how the city contracts for homeless services, but some aspects were still unclear.

Officials promised to get payments back on track two years ago by streamlining their processes. Councilmember Nithya Raman, who has chaired the council’s homelessness committee for the past few years, said on Friday the city is “stuck” and has not fixed the issue.

“We don't have the ability at the city to manage this process any better than we did last year or the year before. We have just not moved forward at all,” she added. “It is extraordinarily frustrating, and those same issues persist at LAHSA that we've been discussing. So we're literally in the same place that we've been for two years.”

What LAHSA leaders say

The agency’s CEO, Gita O’Neill, told the committee the delays are “unacceptable” and that LAHSA is working with a consultant to improve its processes. LAHSA’s chief financial officer, Janine Trejo, said LAHSA “is accepting responsibility,” while she also pointed at the city for what she described as delays in the city finalizing its agreements to fund LAHSA and payments to LAHSA.

Mayor Karen Bass oversees the city agencies that pay LAHSA and is the only elected official on LAHSA’s governing commission, which she has served on for more than two years. She did not respond to a request for comment through a spokesperson on Friday’s discussion of the payment delays. Raman is running against Bass in the June primary election for mayor.

What’s next

Following up on City Council requests from years ago, the council committee plans to decide next Wednesday whether to recommend pulling all of the city’s funding out of LAHSA and having a different agency manage it. It will then go to the full City Council for a decision.

The Los Angeles County Board of Supervisors on Tuesday is expected to consider, a motion aimed at assessing the impact of the growing number of data centers in the region.

The centers have drawn criticism for their potential health and environmental effects on surrounding communities, and for the amount of energy they use.

Around the country, the growth in the number of data centers — which house servers, storage systems and other technology — has been driven in part by the proliferation of artificial intelligence, which has drastically increased the need for critical internet technology infrastructure.

There are already more than 70 established data centers in the county, with that number likely to grow as developers approach cities and the county to create additional facilities, according to the motion authored by Supervisor Hilda Solis.

“Establishing local regulatory oversight of data center placement and operation is needed to ensure community and environmental health and safety is protected,” the motion states. “As newer centers expand in scale and complexity, their energy use and environmental footprint is also increasing, with little community engagement on the potential impacts on residents’ health and wellbeing.”

A representative of the data storage industry raised concerns about the motion, which calls for a moratorium on data center development in unincorporated L.A. County that would be initiated “as applicable.”

“What concerns me most with the motion is the inclusion of a moratorium,” said Khara Boender, director of state policy for the Data Center Coalition. “That sends a strong signal as to whether they are welcome in those areas.”

Data centers ‘underregulated’

Solis’ motion calls on various departments including public health, public works and fire to provide findings regarding the health, environmental and safety impacts of data centers on neighboring communities, the impact on electrical and water resources and a review of how other jurisdictions around the county are regulating data centers within urban areas.

It also calls for a community education and outreach campaign to inform residents on potential impacts of advancing technologies.

The Natural Resources Defense Council, an environmental group, has said the data center industry is under-regulated and accelerating at a speed, scale and concentration that is impacting energy systems, water supplies, air quality, community health, land use and public finances.

A recent report by the group said state and local policymakers are at the forefront of this expansion, “uniquely positioned to guide it in ways that reflect local priorities and community needs, especially in the absence of federal guidelines.”

A fact sheet from the council said unrestricted buildout of data centers could come with big consequences including:

• Higher household water and energy bills
• Water scarcity 
• Increased water, air and noise pollution

The motion by Solis quotes a 2026 report by Community & Environmental Defense Services that showed pollutants emitted from data centers may adversely impact the health of individuals living as far as 0.6 miles from the site.

Boender, of the Data Center Coalition, said concerns about data centers have been overstated. In addition, she said data centers have “a lot of positive economic impacts associated with them.” She cited a Pricewaterhouse report that found one job in a data center creates six jobs in the broader economy.

Support for state legislation

In addition to asking county staff to assess the impact of data centers, the Solis motion calls on the county to support state legislation that directs the Public Utilities Commission to create a special rate structure for large-scale energy users and requires these users to pay for upfront transmission or distribution upgrades.

The county Board of Supervisors is expected to consider the motion during its regular meeting Tuesday. For more information, click here.

Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell, one of the leading candidates for California governor, came under increasing pressure Friday to drop out of the race following a report by the San Francisco Chronicle that he sexually assaulted a former female staffer. Swalwell denied the allegations.

Several other Democratic candidates called for him to immediately drop out, including Superintendent of Public Instruction Tony Thurmond, San Jose Mayor Matt Mahan and former Controller Betty Yee, who called the allegations “sickening.”

Swalwell had racked up endorsements across the Democratic establishment, and at least one labor union and one politician who was backing him suspended their support swiftly Friday afternoon.

The Chronicle reported that a woman who worked in Swalwell’s Castro Valley office claimed to have had sexual encounters with him while she worked for him and alleged he sexually assaulted her when she was intoxicated. The report comes after weeks of rumors that Swalwell had inappropriate interactions with staff for years. On one instance in 2019, the woman said she became intoxicated after Swalwell asked her for drinks and woke up in his bed in a hotel room, feeling the effects of intercourse.

"These allegations are false and come on the eve of an election against the frontrunner for governor. For nearly 20 years, I have served the public — as a prosecutor and a congressman and have always protected women. I will defend myself with the facts and where necessary bring legal action,” Swalwell said in a statement Friday.

In recent weeks, two social media influencers began posting online what many people had considered rumors about Swalwell’s behavior with women. The influencers said they had spoken with several young women with whom Swalwell had behaved inappropriately. CalMatters has not independently verified the claims.

Swalwell pushed back hard against the allegations this week, telling reporters at a town hall in Sacramento on Tuesday that they are “false,” that he had “never” had a sexual relationship with anyone who worked for him. He suggested the allegations were politically motivated.

“I don’t want there to be any question in the minds of Californians,” he said. “I’m offering myself also as somebody who is fearlessly going to stand up for Californians on the toughest issues and not flinch.”

An attorney for Swalwell sent cease-and-desist letters to some of the women, one of the influencers, Arielle Fodor, wrote online. The attorney, Elias Dabaie, did not respond to a request for comment on the Chronicle story but confirmed to other news outlets the letter’s authenticity.

On Thursday night, Swalwell canceled a planned town hall in Southern California. Swalwell began calling groups that have endorsed him Friday morning to tell them of an upcoming story in the Chronicle, and denying the story, according to a person familiar with the matter who spoke to CalMatters.

At least four of his senior campaign staffers, including a top consultant who helped him court labor support, abruptly resigned before the news report.

Swalwell’s top two Democratic competitors in governor’s race, Tom Steyer and Katie Porter, on Friday avoided calling for him to drop out, though both issued statements commending the woman in the Chronicle story for coming forward.

Some groups that have endorsed Swalwell declined to comment on the allegations when reached by CalMatters, saying their board members needed time to digest the news.

For others, the exodus was swift. U.S. Rep. Jimmy Gomez, a Los Angeles Democrat who chaired Swalwell’s campaign, resigned from the role Friday and called on Swalwell to drop out. He called the allegations “the ugliest and most serious accusations imaginable.”

“My involvement in any campaign begins and ends with trust,” he said in a statement. “The congressman should leave the race now so there can be full accountability without doubt, distraction, or delay.”

The powerhouse union California Teachers Association immediately suspended its support of Swalwell, calling the allegations against him “incredibly disturbing and unacceptable” in a statement by President David Goldberg. “Our elected board will be meeting as soon as possible to follow our union’s democratic process to determine next steps.”

Another heavyweight union that endorsed him, Service Employees International Union California, suspended at least one ad buy in support of Swalwell following the accusations.

The California Medical Association, another backer, was convening an emergency meeting of the board, and “takes these allegations extremely seriously,” said spokesperson Erin Mellon.

CalMatters' Yue Stella Yu contributed to this report.

This article was originally published on CalMatters and was republished under the Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives license.