The Brief

This story was originally published by Boyle Heights Beat on May 23, 2025.

When East L.A. native and author Julie Sands’ father returned from the Vietnam War in 1968, he was not the same man who had left.

Sands explained that while many veterans come home and “get a job, resume their married life and have children,” it’s not always that simple.

Her father, Ruben Amaro, came back to East L.A. with post-traumatic stress disorder, struggled with drug and alcohol abuse, “and he could never resume a normal life,” said Sands.

“Growing up and having to experience the ramifications of war on a child is something that no one talks about. Everyone speaks about the veterans, but they don’t speak about the children of veterans.”

Sands chronicled her experiences in her 2010 memoir, “War Dad: A Daughter’s Story of Surviving PTSD and the Effects of War,” which recounts growing up in a military family in East L.A. The book led her to connect with other veterans and their families who had dealt with the same pain.

Ruben Amaro, Sands’ father, served in the Vietnam War.

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Courtesy of Julie Sands

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Now, for the 14th year in a row, Sands will help organize the Memorial Day celebration at the Mexican American All Wars Memorial at Cinco Puntos in Boyle Heights. With a small-but-mighty team of planners, she works to honor those who died while serving in the U.S. Armed Forces.

“I am grateful to be able to do this for the city of Los Angeles,” Sands said. “No matter how hot the political scene gets in CD 14, community [members] are always the ones who come to the ceremony.”

We spoke to Sands about her advocacy for veterans and how writing a book about her father helped her begin to heal. The interview has been edited for length and clarity.

BHB: How did growing up in a military family – especially with a father struggling with PTSD – shape your life and perspective?

Julie Sands: Growing up with a parent who has a military background can be very tough and it’s tough growing up with a parent who has PTSD, because it affects generations, and it affects your home life. It makes you grow up fast. It makes you aware of political situations. There is fear and uncertainty, and you have to learn how to manage all of those feelings and emotions and still make it through life yourself. So it can be a tough road when a family member takes the military route.

BHB: What emotional challenges did you face while revisiting your story to write “War Dad”?

Julie Sands: The entire book was challenging because I had already healed. I had already put those memories away. I was married, I was raising my children, and to write that book was like getting a knife and slicing my heart open and letting it bleed. It was extremely painful, extremely difficult, extremely emotional, but I did it because I knew I could help other people.

BHB: What drives you to keep honoring veterans through the annual Memorial Day celebration at Cinco Puntos?

Julie Sands: When I wrote [“War Dad”], I thought to myself, ‘how am I going to reach out to the families of the veterans and try to rescue the daughters and the sons that are going to go through what I went through with the soldiers coming back from Iraq and Afghanistan?’ And the best way I could do that is to plug myself directly into the veterans community. And that’s what I did. In doing that, I was able to connect with family members and children and daughters of fathers of war and begin to help them to heal as well, and to teach them the skills on how to heal from their childhood when they had a parent with PTSD.

My father didn’t have a choice. He went to war, he was drafted, he came back with PTSD, and he wasn’t able to resume a normal life. So I wanted to represent my father, and that’s why I stand on that stage in Boyle Heights and East L.A., because I’m representing my father and his name and showing that no matter what happens in life, you can rise above your situation and you can make things better again.

Mexican American All Wars Memorial at Cinco Puntos on May 21, 2025.

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Andrew Lopez

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Boyle Heights Beat

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A plaque can be seen at the Mexican American All Wars Memorial.

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Andrew Lopez

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Boyle Heights Beat

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BHB: What kind of impact have you seen from holding Memorial Day events in East L.A. and Boyle Heights?

Julie Sands: Every single time I walk off that stage at the Mexican-American All Wars Memorial at Cinco Puntos, there are people just coming up to me crying, hugging me and telling me thank you. They thank me for telling my story, because they also went through that. And then they want me to talk to their daughters. They want me to meet their family member who has PTSD. Back in the 60s and 70s, there was no help for us. There was no counseling for families. So no one spoke of it. And so when they hear my story for the first time, it’s almost like, if they’re liberated as well, like they’re free now to speak about the trauma they went through, and that’s what I get every single ceremony.

BHB: Beyond Memorial Day, how do you continue to support families of veterans?

Julie Sands: I have a company called the Be Amazing Project. My objective was to use the skills that I created, exercises, verbalizations, and thought process, and take them into the schools so that I can get to the children of military families. And I’ve been blessed to be able to get into the Los Angeles Unified School District, the Montebello Unified School District. I’ve gone into high schools, middle schools, and continuation schools, and I connect with children of veterans and any children who have military family members, and I teach them how to rise above their situation and succeed in school and succeed at home.

BHB: Are you planning any new elements for this year’s Memorial Day celebration?

Julie Sands: This year, what I’d like to begin doing during the ceremony is to hold a space for people to stand with a picture of their fallen loved one, whether they passed in combat or they passed away after they came back from war. I’m going to give them the opportunity to call out their name. And I think that would be very, very powerful, because Memorial Day is a day to remember.