Friendsgiving shouldn't be stressful. All you need is a little planning.
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Topline:
It's the season for Friendsgiving! Here are a bunch of helpful tips to ensure that yours is the best celebration yet.
Why it matters: In recent years, Friendsgiving has gained popularity due to the pandemic and the inability to see extended family (and hey, because it's sometimes just more fun to be with friends!)
What's on the list? Everything from when to prep (it's never too early), to creating the vibe, to arguably the most important one: Everyone brings something, including something to drink.
I didn’t grow up with Turkey Day playing a significant role in my family gatherings. We usually visited a restaurant like Guelagetza or a Chinese restaurant in the San Gabriel Valley.
Now, as an adult with my own family, Thanksgiving means more Friendsgiving celebrations, where folks within my social circle gather together to give thanks and break bread.
Of course, the idea of Friendsgiving isn’t new to the culture per se. Getting together with our social circles instead of our birth families has been widespread. I’d be remiss without mentioning the show Friends (RIP Matthew Perry), which helped popularize the idea of Friendsgiving and devoted nine episodes to the holiday over the entire series run.
Pop culture references aside, while I didn’t celebrate the traditional Thanksgiving, I feel I’ve excelled at making the celebration my own. I was instilled with a love of entertaining and an appreciation for a good dinner party, and as I attended a few “Friendsgiving” celebrations in recent years, I picked up a few tips on what works and what doesn’t.
The critical thing to remember is that the mood should always be fun and festive. Don’t worry so much about what’s on the table but about making your guests feel welcome. Creating the right vibe should always be the bottom line, and most importantly, enjoy yourself and try not to do it all by yourself.
Here's some more tips to make this your best (and most effortless) holiday with friends ever.
Prep early
1. Pick a date that works for you. No rule says you must have your Friendsgiving around Thanksgiving or even have it in November. Be flexible and set yourself free. Your friends will probably be grateful that you took the pressure off.
2. Know your space. Think through the headcount before inviting guests. Be realistic about your area; don’t overdo it by inviting everyone you know.
3. Don’t have enough chairs? Consider renting tables and chairs if you have the space. Ideally, this order would be placed well ahead of time to beat the rush.
4. Google Sheets is your friend. Use Google Sheets to map everything out. The sooner you start this process, the better, so start now. Create a separate tab for friends to sign up for what dishes they want to bring and create a deadline. Also, have a separate space for friends to note if there are dietary restrictions.
You'll avoid the last-minute crowds when you shop early.
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5.Get as much of your shopping done early. Think about what can be purchased ahead of time. Consider ordering your groceries online for delivery or pick up, which most grocery stores do. It takes away from the sensory overload of shopping in the stores. Many stores, such as Trader Joe's, will also let you pre-order some of their bouquets ahead of time.
Enlist help
6. Decide what the menu will be ahead of time. Coordinate with your party and decide in advance if the gathering will adhere to the traditional Thanksgiving menu or if folks can bring a non-traditional dish of their liking, which can also be fun. This prevents you from having seven desserts but no side dishes.
7. Everyone needs to bring something! From extra napkins to ice, which both always come in handy, or a side dish. Also, make sure everyone brings a beverage of their choice, alcoholic or non.
8. Stick to what you know. Ease the stress by sticking to dishes you’ve made before and you know your friends like. And when in doubt, go pre-made! Consider dishes that can be pre-ordered or pre-made (even the turkey). Plenty of restaurants and stores carry plenty of pre-made items.
9. Defrosting the bird: If you are doing a turkey, and it's frozen, give yourself plenty of time to defrost it. (The U.S. Department of Agriculture recommends doing this in the fridge for food safety reasons, allowing one full day for every 4-5 pounds of bird.)
10. When serving food, pick a method that works best. Decide if you want to serve the meal family-style or buffet-style? Then stage your space accordingly.
11. Make a playlist. Curate the vibes by picking out a playlist that will run the duration of your evening. (This can also be done well in advance.)
Day of prep
12. Get beverages chilling first thing in the morning. You want to make sure beverages are at the desired temperature for when guests arrive. Also, make sure you have room for the beverages that people will bring, whether that's another cooler with ice, or space on a table for red wine.
Set the table early. Even the day before.
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13.Prep your tablescape beforehand, possibly even the night before. Setting the table ahead of time means one less thing to worry about
14.Preheat the oven. Key for cooking turkey at the right temperature but also to pop in appetizers at a moment's notice.
The final countdown: Before guests arrive
No need for heavy apps. But a few easy bites are nice.
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15.Prepare any appetizers. Set out those chips, dips, and crudite plates for people to snack on as they arrive.
16. Pop some bottles. Open wine so there’s time to allow it to aerate.
17. Clear your space. Try to have your counter space accessible when guests bring their dishes, empty the dishwasher, and take out the trash.
When guests arrive...
18.Hello, hello! Please do your best to introduce folks to everyone when they arrive.
19. Assign guests a job. Share the workload by assigning tasks such as mixing drinks or helping with something in the kitchen.
20. Start a game. Play a game with your guests to serve as an icebreaker. It can be a popular board game or something as simple as sharing a favorite Thanksgiving memory, anything to get people talking.
21.Background binge. Throw on a beloved Thanksgiving TV special in the background.
22.Don’t forget the kids. Have an area with some activities.
Serving dessert buffet style makes it easy on the host.
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The main event
23. Mix it up with assigned seats. I recently went to a dinner party, and the host assigned seats but didn't have couples sit next to each other, prompting some great conversation.
24. The camera eats first. Take pictures of your food and guests; create memories.
Bonus:
25. Skip the hosting all together and head to a restaurant. Ha!
