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March 17, 2008
So you think you're smarter than McCain?
When it comes to basketball, anyway. The Republican nominee today unveiled a new feature on his website: compare your picks for the 2008 March Madness tournament with his picks. You can even donate your points to the university of your choice so your school can win. Gimmicky? Absolutely. But brilliant. In order to compare your picks, you must create an account; the only required information is your email address and zip code. That’s golden demographic information for campaigns.
This could the start of an online event-of-the-month on McCain's website. Here’s some suggestions for future months:
April: Celebrate the start of the MLS season and compare your picks for the year with McCain’s (that’s Major League Soccer, for those of you that only know Beckham as Posh’s husband)
May: Join one of the first Republicans to acknowledge the green movement by signing a pledge on McCain’s website to observe the League of American Bicyclists’ Bike-to-Work Day
June: In honor of National Cancer Survivors day, submit your idea for health care system reform at an online forum hosted by the McCain website
July: Compare your picks for the 2008 Tour de France to McCain’s picks if you support McCain’s anti-steroid stance
Plus, submit photos to McCain’s website of your 4th of July fireworks (legal ones only, of course)
August: Not to be forgotten as a branch of the military serving in Iraq, log in to McCain’s website to sign a letter of appreciation for the often forgotten Coast Guard on Coast Guard Day
Also, not to be overshadowed by either of his TBD opponents, log in to McCain’s website to a) commemorate Women’s Equality Day celebrating the signing of the 19th amendment (originally signed 8/26/1920) and leave a note in an online guestbook thanking the women who have made a difference in your life or b) commemorate Martin Luther King’s 8/28/1963 I Have a Dream Speech by signing an online guestbook pledging to continue to carry out his work
September: Celebrate children returning to school by creating a McCainSpace page for your school to fundraise online for McCain. The school that raises the largest amount wins a pizza party with McCain!
October: Submit your photos to McCain’s online costume contest to see who can look scarier than Obamary
Photo by puck90 via the LAist Featured Photos pool on Flickr
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Here's my idea...
McCain strolls through Bagdad, butt naked, with no military escort, everyday, for the next 7 months.
If he lives he gets to be president!
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I'd laugh my ass off at this if it weren't so true...
From the Borowitz Report...
March 19, 2008
Breaking News
McCain Concludes Fact-hiding Mission to Iraq
Mac: ‘Omission Accomplished’
Presumptive G.O.P. nominee John McCain wrapped up his fact-hiding mission to Iraq today, declaring the trip an unqualified success.
“My friends, I came to Iraq to hide the facts about the way the war is going, and in that I have succeeded,” Sen. McCain told reporters. “Omission accomplished.”
Sen. McCain praised his campaign staff for steering clear of visual evidence of recent violence in Baghdad: “Thanks to the hard work of my advance team, the surge has the appearance of working.”
The Arizona senator said that his trip to Iraq was successful in part because he was able to obscure the actual facts with new facts of his own creation.
“It’s a well known fact that Iran is training al-Qaeda,” Sen. McCain said. “And if it wasn’t a well-known fact before, it is now.”
In a speech commemorating the fifth anniversary of the invasion of Iraq, President Bush echoed Sen. McCain’s fact-hiding theme.
“As far as the war is concerned, the facts speak for themselves,” Mr. Bush said. “So I won’t mention any of them.”
Mr. Bush acknowledged that the war still presented certain challenges, but concluded on an upbeat note: “Iraq today is in better shape than Bear Stearns.”
borowitzreport.com