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July 20, 2007
Be Careful What You Wish For
We all say it's what we want, a guy who is well-endowed, but ladies, have you ever been with a guy who REALLY IS well-endowed? And I don’t just mean above-average here.
Have you been with a guy big enough where it may become a problem? Like a pain problem? If you haven’t been in that situation then be thankful, and if you have experienced it, I know you feel my pain…literally.
So Sports Guy and I have been dating for over two months now and things are great- he’s fun, cute, caring, and gives this Jewish princess all the attention she needs. He’s a great kisser, and we’re very attracted to each other, but no matter how much attraction there is in a relationship- it’s hard to fit a square peg into a round hole if you know what I mean.
Sports Guy is big. Like porn big. And I’m no porn star- just your average girl, who watches porn sometimes. When I first saw his ammo I thought, “Wow, Sports Guy!” not fearing for my nether regions in the slightest.
Then I did more than see it, I felt it inside me and I thought, “Ouch- that thing really hurts- but I’ll get used to it”.
And now over six weeks later I think, “OW this still really hurts. Are we sexually incompatible? Is it a deal-breaker? Can this be break-up worthy?”
It can’t be... right?
Once Sports Guy and I get that huge thing in me (after much foreplay, some deep yoga-ish breathing and intense concentration) it's good- better than good, but those first initial moments each time are what puts the buzzkill on the whole mission. It’s like flashbacking to my first time…everytime.
What a problem to have Jgirl, I know you must be saying- but think of it this way- all spontaneity is gone. I’ll never be able to just go and jump my boyfriend’s bones when I feel like it. Quickies in stairwells or backseats are out of the question. It has to be a whole production, complete with pausing for a hefty handful of lube, everytime. Or else it just literally won’t happen.
I even bought the fancy $22 lube thinking it would be magic. No such luck. It’s the same as any other lube, just in a fancy package. It’s been a problem for Sports Guy in the past and his answer is just more lube, more foreplay, more lube and more lube. It’s getting pretty messy round here as you can imagine.
So what’s this Jgirl to do? Squats? Yoga? Deep meditation? Can this really be it? I don't want to let this one go over something so little...I mean big...
Oy Vey.
Photo by Kriegerinhummel via Flickr
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Oy, indeed. Ask your ob-gyn about this. I think there's a medical procedure that can be done to make it a little less, uhm, uncomfortable. That is, of course, if you think Sports Guy is worth it.
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oh, for your problems, single jew girl!
you're sure you aren't, um, tense, at entry? i mean knowing it's so big? i tend to think this is a relaxation thing. can we get some raw numbers here on sports guy's, ah, specs? don't give up hope on spontaneity. and lube comes in handy purse-sizes, too, you know. good luck!
p.s. -- you may wanna refer this post of yours to your fellow laist sexpert, jen sincero. she'll know what to do!
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L really love you. That's it. That's all I got right now.
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There is a procedure - or procedures. Many years ago a buddy of mine had to fly back east with his wife to be to show her ob-gyn the extent of the problem. But even after she had the procedure, it still required some chemical help on his part to finally comfortably close the deal.
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I support you!
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As a Jewish male hoping to keeps things alive within my Jewish brotherhood - being in the dating world, I wonder - will you ever return to liking a smaller homeboy?
say, like a 6 incher?
OR is what your saying that men with a small snausage just has the ability to rise more spontaneously (my specialty) to the occasion?
Either way, my Jewish penis' power feels raped.
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i recently started a relationship with a nice girl i met. i warned her about the same issue. fast forward to 3 months, she says it still hurts but its more pleasurable than in the begining stages. she also claims that her uterus moved.
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I don't think more lube is the answer - if you're using water based gel (which you should, because those are the best ones to go with condoms without the risk of breaking them), when the lube starts to run dry, spray some water. If you add more lube, the second coat will get to the same sticky state, as you might have already figured.
But yea, I know it can be a problem... :(
Also, would you be ok to ask him how he's addressed the issue in the past?
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It may not be romantic, but get tested for STDs -both of you. The chafing and stretching can cause tiny tears in your mucuose membranes which are invitations to infection. Also, the condom can tear.
In time you will adapt. But until you adapt back if you break up, other guys will be boring.
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not to be the parade rainer - but just to share my story: i had the exact same problem. found a great guy, we were super attracted to each other but he was HUGE. not oh-my-god-the-sex-is-going-to-be-awesome huge but oh-my-god-how-in-the-hell-is-that-going-to-fit-in-me huge. (and just to debunk that common myth: he had pretty small hands). we tried everything but it just hurt. it got to the point where i had constant UTI's and would be sore for at least a day any time we would do it. yadda yadda yadda... we broke up. he's married now so he clearly found someone who could handle it -- but i'd love to know how.
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My sympathies, that's the same reason why all my past relationships didn't work out. The exes would beg to differ, but what do they know.
Indian Stallion
http://indianstallion.blogspot.com
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It happen to me in the past, there's some exercise you can do. You can ask your doctor or go to a library. It will help you for the size and also you can have more control during the intercourse. Even if you have no problem, you should try.