Congress has cut federal funding for public media — a $3.4 million loss for LAist. We count on readers like you to protect our nonprofit newsroom. Become a monthly member and sustain local journalism.
This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.
Be Careful What You Wish For

We all say it's what we want, a guy who is well-endowed, but ladies, have you ever been with a guy who REALLY IS well-endowed? And I don’t just mean above-average here.
Have you been with a guy big enough where it may become a problem? Like a pain problem? If you haven’t been in that situation then be thankful, and if you have experienced it, I know you feel my pain…literally.
So Sports Guy and I have been dating for over two months now and things are great- he’s fun, cute, caring, and gives this Jewish princess all the attention she needs. He’s a great kisser, and we’re very attracted to each other, but no matter how much attraction there is in a relationship- it’s hard to fit a square peg into a round hole if you know what I mean.
Sports Guy is big. Like porn big. And I’m no porn star- just your average girl, who watches porn sometimes. When I first saw his ammo I thought, “Wow, Sports Guy!” not fearing for my nether regions in the slightest.
Then I did more than see it, I felt it inside me and I thought, “Ouch- that thing really hurts- but I’ll get used to it”.
And now over six weeks later I think, “OW this still really hurts. Are we sexually incompatible? Is it a deal-breaker? Can this be break-up worthy?”
It can’t be... right?
Once Sports Guy and I get that huge thing in me (after much foreplay, some deep yoga-ish breathing and intense concentration) it's good- better than good, but those first initial moments each time are what puts the buzzkill on the whole mission. It’s like flashbacking to my first time…everytime.
What a problem to have Jgirl, I know you must be saying- but think of it this way- all spontaneity is gone. I’ll never be able to just go and jump my boyfriend’s bones when I feel like it. Quickies in stairwells or backseats are out of the question. It has to be a whole production, complete with pausing for a hefty handful of lube, everytime. Or else it just literally won’t happen.
I even bought the fancy $22 lube thinking it would be magic. No such luck. It’s the same as any other lube, just in a fancy package. It’s been a problem for Sports Guy in the past and his answer is just more lube, more foreplay, more lube and more lube. It’s getting pretty messy round here as you can imagine.
So what’s this Jgirl to do? Squats? Yoga? Deep meditation? Can this really be it? I don't want to let this one go over something so little...I mean big...
Oy Vey.
Photo by Kriegerinhummel via Flickr
As Editor-in-Chief of our newsroom, I’m extremely proud of the work our top-notch journalists are doing here at LAist. We’re doing more hard-hitting watchdog journalism than ever before — powerful reporting on the economy, elections, climate and the homelessness crisis that is making a difference in your lives. At the same time, it’s never been more difficult to maintain a paywall-free, independent news source that informs, inspires, and engages everyone.
Simply put, we cannot do this essential work without your help. Federal funding for public media has been clawed back by Congress and that means LAist has lost $3.4 million in federal funding over the next two years. So we’re asking for your help. LAist has been there for you and we’re asking you to be here for us.
We rely on donations from readers like you to stay independent, which keeps our nonprofit newsroom strong and accountable to you.
No matter where you stand on the political spectrum, press freedom is at the core of keeping our nation free and fair. And as the landscape of free press changes, LAist will remain a voice you know and trust, but the amount of reader support we receive will help determine how strong of a newsroom we are going forward to cover the important news from our community.
Please take action today to support your trusted source for local news with a donation that makes sense for your budget.
Thank you for your generous support and believing in independent news.

-
The L.A. City Council approved the venue change Wednesday, which organizers say will save $12 million in infrastructure costs.
-
Taxes on the sale of some newer apartment buildings would be lowered under a plan by Sacramento lawmakers to partially rein in city Measure ULA.
-
The union representing the restaurant's workers announced Tuesday that The Pantry will welcome back patrons Thursday after suddenly shutting down six months ago.
-
If approved, the more than 62-acre project would include 50 housing lots and a marina less than a mile from Jackie and Shadow's famous nest overlooking the lake.
-
The U.S. Supreme Court lifted limits on immigration sweeps in Southern California, overturning a lower court ruling that prohibited agents from stopping people based on their appearance.
-
Censorship has long been controversial. But lately, the issue of who does and doesn’t have the right to restrict kids’ access to books has been heating up across the country in the so-called culture wars.