Jessica P. Ogilvie

If there's one thing we know about kids, it's that some of them will find any way -- any way at all -- to get drunk or high. The latest method of intoxication for the youth? Drinking hand sanitizer. The LA Times broke the story yesterday, reporting that six kids in the Valley had shown up at the emergency room with alcohol poisoning.

The Hollywood Hacker, the guy behind the leaked nude photos of Scarlett Johansson, wreaked havoc on a number of celebrity's lives. But in a profile in GQ, Chris Chaney is portrayed not as a malicious villain but as some dude -- a kind of sad dude -- who was depressed and bored and living in his grandmother's house when he realized that he could guess (guess) actors' email passwords, and live vicariously in a world far more interesting than his own.

In a heartfelt column published in the Chicago Tribune over the weekend, Hugh Hefner bid farewell to Chicago as he announced that the Playboy offices will be consolidating in Los Angeles. In the article, Hef wrote that Chicago helped shape Playboy, since, being in the heartland, the city represents real American men.

In tonight's extra, extra, a local reporter ventures deep into the bowels of a hospital cafeteria to review the food. Plus: Keep up with us on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter: @LAist @LAistFood @LAistSports. You can also find us on Pinterest, Storify, Foursquare, and Instagram (laistpics).

A man driving a stolen car made a clever escape from police today by driving off the edge of a cliff, then managing to stroll off from the scene of the crash. City News Service reports that the man was pulled over at around 1:45 p.m. on Malibu Canyon Road, about a mile away from the Pacific Coast Highway. According to ABC Local, several passengers got out of the car -- a Honda Element -- upon being asked to by police, but the driver refused.

Police are on the hunt today for a man who allegedly drove up behind a 17-year-old girl in North Hills on Tuesday, jumped out of the car, stripped naked, grabbed her butt, and drove away. City News Service reports that the bizarre incident went down at about 11:30 a.m. near the intersection of Plummer Street and Haskell Avenue. The man in question, who's described as about 30 years old, 5'6 and 160 pounds with a mustache, covered up the license plates of the car he was in before whipping off the remainder of his garments.

Kim Kardashian, everyone's favorite celebrity divorcée, recently announced that she has her heavily painted eye on a career in politics. Speaking to her sister Khloé in an unaired clip from E!'s "Khloé & Lamar," Kim said that she was thinking about running for mayor of Glendale -- which she called "like, Armenian town" -- in five years.

As part of a three-week art installation called "Play Me, I'm Yours," 30 decorated pianos have been placed all over L.A. Taking the installation to its next logical level, the producers of the event are planning a pop-up concert for April 26th at 8:45 p.m. called "Love Letters To L.A.: Pianos Live."

An audit of the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services found that workers were falsifying mileage reports in order to get paid for drives they didn't take. The LA Times broke the story, and reported that 40% of the department's employees were reimbursed for phony trips.

In tonight's Extra, Extra, new information comes to light regarding the new season of "Arrested Development." Plus: Keep up with us on Facebook, and follow us on Twitter: @LAist @LAistFood @LAistSports. You can also find us on Pinterest, Storify, Foursquare, and Instagram (laistpics).

An Orange County man allegedly became so irate during an argument with a family member that he lunged at her with a five-foot-long samurai sword. The OC Weekly reports that Andrew Baoan Nguyen, 21, of Seal Beach pulled out his sword on Monday at about 4:30 p.m. No one was hurt, but Nguyen still fled the scene.

If LA City councilman Paul Koretz has his way, pet stores in Los Angeles will soon only be able to sell their fuzzy, adorable wares if they've been procured from shelters or rescues -- not from puppy mills. The councilman introduced a motion to that effect at a city council meeting yesterday, reports the Huffington Post, as part of an attempt to make LA a no-kill city. The motion was approved in an 11-1 vote.