The Meanest Blog in the Entire World
For those of you who might not be familiar with the story, this is a tale of suspicion, revenge, and MySpace gone terribly wrong. In 2006, Lori Drew of Dardenne, Missouri, invented a fake profile on MySpace pretending to be a young boy named "Josh". Her intent was to use "Josh" to romance and keep tabs on her daughter's ex-best-friend, Megan Meier, who Drew believed was harassing her daughter via MySpace. "Josh" also "friended" Megan's other MySpace friends, and even worked in tandem with one of the teenage "friends" who had figured out the ruse. On October 16, 2006, after "Josh" dumped her, and her MySpace "friends" turned on her, Megan's parents found her hanged with a belt in her bedroom closet. Megan, who suffered from depression, died the next morning in the hospital. She had commited suicide. She was only 13 years old.
Lori Drew pissed off an entire town with her actions, if not the entire world. At least one person suggested to the local sheriff that they should burn her house down. However, no charges were filed against her. Here is the complete story from The St Charles Journal and The New York Times. Updates are being posted at Death by 1000 Papercuts. There are even websites posting the Drews' home address and employment information, encouraging ominous-sounding /raid/s.
It appears Lori Drew may have just taken her viciousness to new heights by posting the blog, Megan Had it Coming. A post appeared yesterday "outing" Lori Drew as the author of the blog. If this confession is true, the vitriol is shocking. If someone else is keeping this blog in order to incite violence against Drew, or for some other nefarious purpose, it is still horribly cruel. As a result of the events surrounding Megan Meier's suicide, the local board passed a measure making internet harassment a misdemeanor, punishable by up to a $500 fine and 90 days in jail. Some commenters on the blog are concerned that this blogger is attempting to bait readers into harassment.
Yesterday's post remorselessly defends Drew's actions, with statements like:
That's when I decided I would have to teach Megan a lesson and give her a taste of her own medicine. I decided that I would shut down the Josh account, and not be nice about it. Megan's feelings be damned, and to hell with her consequence!
I expected a certain amount of bullying, and I was OK with it. I wanted Megan to get a taste of what she had been dishing out this whole time. But I didn't want it to go as far as it did. It's true that the slut and fat references came out of what I shared...
We didn't know Megan was going to do what she did. If we knew it was going to end like that, I wouldn't have started this whole thing. I had no intention for Megan to be so drastic.
I took a low blow at Megan's memory because I desperately wanted the world to at least get a glimpse of the truth.
Regardless of what Megan did or did not do on MySpace to upset Drew's daughter, it never seems to occur to Lori Drew that Megan was a child. Lori Drew is supposed to be an adult. And a human being.
The post ends with the challenge: Here I am, internet. Come and get me. As of midnight Monday night, there were 841 comments.
(Photo by It's Greg via Flickr)
I have a feeling that Megan Had it Coming is not long for this blogosphere, so I am copy and pasting all three entries here. I will leave out the comments due to space limitations.
Monday, November 26, 2007 Who's really at fault?
When the grief counselor came to our school last year and spoke to us, she said over and over again that Megan's death was the fault of nobody but Megan. No matter who was feeling guilty, or who thought they should have known something or said something or not said something or whatev. She said it was a tragedy, but something like "there's no way to predict when or why a depressed person would end her own life. In the end no one but Megan can be held responsible for Megan's suicide." She sent us to this site too: http://www.healthyplace.com/communities/bipolar/related/suicide_8.asp
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Set the record straight
I want to set the record straight about Megan Meier. I'm calling myself Kristen because if i don't want to give out my real name.
Megan and I were sort of friends. I always saw her at school and sometimes on myspace when her mom would let her on. I need to talk about what she was like because everyone has this picture of this innocent girl who had this horrible thing done to her. That's sorta true but not totally.
Megan was a total drama queen. Yeah i know it was depression or whatev but it was hard to be her friend for very long because she would always lose it and turn into a psycho. That's why Lori Drew's daughter stopped being friends with Megan. Let's call her laura. Every other day Megan would have some crisis and you could see her freaking out down the hall or screaming at someone for stabbing her in the back or not listening to her or whatever then she would go cry to Laura unless it was her pissing her off. You couldn't say anything to megan without her taking it the wrong way.
Yeah she was kinda fat. But she made it seem like everyone was out to harpoon her or whatev. I saw her out with her mom one day at tri sports and she was being a total basket case complaining how all the sports gear made her look fat. You could tell that her mom had been putting up with her daughter for a looooooong time and kinda tuned her out. I would, too.
Oh one other thing about Megan is that she was soooooo shallow. She totally threw herself at any boy who would give her the time of day and then totally lose him for stupid reasons. She was hot for this one boy in our math class and she was trying to be a flirt but she was being totally slutty at him until sara this other girl she talked to said she didn't think he was very hot and boom! suddenly megan wasn't intrested in him anymore and called him a loser in front of everyone. It was that kind of stuff that made people not like Megan. Megan could be really mean and hurtful.
Oh and if you ever disagreed with her or didn't go in with whatever she was talking about she totally pulled this poor me thing and got all defensive. she was a total psycho and everyone knew it. And she knew that everyone knew it and she went even more crazy! Like when she talked about liking Usher and someone else called her a getto bitch and she screamed at the top of her lungs NO IM NOT!!!!! You couldn't help but laugh at her because she was soooooo nuts!!!
So yeah it's to bad Megan killed herself but it's not suprising. I mean if she didn't have enough to eat at dinner that could have set her off and made her kill herself. And killing yourself over a myspace boy? come on!!! I mean yeah your fat so you have to take what you can get but still nobody should kill themselves over it. Oh wait unless your Megan the psycho who goes crazy over every little thing and acts like it's the end of the world. Think about it Megan was "drove" to suicide because from her perspective a boy she liked suddenly asked her about her school reputation and said he wasn't into it? How crazy do you have to be?
Oh and I don't think Lori Drew is so evil as everyone says. Megan was a total bitch to everyone around her especially Laura so if I was her mom I would be mad at Megan too and I would check up on her to see what shit she was spreading about my daughter. And Megan totally talked shit about everyone, including Laura. After she told Laura off, she went around to all her friends to get everyone on her side as if it was this huge divorce or somethingcalling Laura a slut and a bitch so whatev. So yeah Laura's mom checked up on Megan to see what was up and give her a taste of her own medicine. And it's not like Laura's mom did this whole campaign like you see on the news. She was pretending to be this nice guy for six weeks and then said two mean things in one day and that was it. It's not like Megan thought some mean adult was coming after her. All she knew was that some boy who would totally make her think she's hot shit at school cuz she couldn't shut up about him she totally showed him off like a trophy so all the other girls would be jealous and then oops her awesome boy toy was fake!! She was like totally busted on that one. And she had it coming with all the shit she did.
So nobody in the news talks about what Megan the bitch was like so now you know. Oh and don't bother trying to figure out who I am. Unlike Megan, I DO have a boyfriend and he knows computers and he totally covered my tracks.
Monday, December 3, 2007
I'm Lori Drew
It's time I dropped the charade. Yes, I made this blog. Yes, I'm Lori Drew.
My daughter had nothing to do with this. Everyone needs to leave her alone. None of you can possibly know her involvement, and none of you can possibly know what she's gone through. She's just a kid. She doesn't deserve these brutal verbal attacks. Please stop.
Now that Mr. Banas has made public the announcement that there will be no charges filed against me or my family, I feel it is time to speak out about this tragic affair. I cannot count on any media organization to fairly represent my story, as they have grossly misrepresented and sensationalized the story so far. So, I must present my case here, on the blog that has been my only outlet.
You don't understand what the last two years have been like, living in this town, dealing with these people. When we came here, the Meiers seemed like a great family with whom we could form a friendship. Tina sold us our house and our little girls became fast friends. It was typical. Sleepovers and vacations and events in the community. The girls were inseparable.
We knew Megan and we liked having her around, at first. But as the months went on, we saw a change in our daughter. She was increasingly disturbed and defensive. We thought the effects of puberty were taking hold. But, we soon realized the negative influence was Megan. Megan had her bright and perky side, but she also had her dark side. We knew that she suffered from depression, so we tried to be supportive and patient. We talked to Ron and Tina about our concerns, but they would have none of it. Their precious Megan couldn't be the problem -- and they said we should feel bad for even suggesting it of a poor, mentally ill child.
It only got worse from there. Megan found out that we had gone to her parents and she worked to drive a wedge between our daughter and us. We fought back the only way we knew how: we supported our daughter and explained to her what we thought. She agreed with us, and that's when the fallout started.
When Sarah stopped going along with Megan's antics, Megan took it especially hard and lashed out. She called my daughter every nasty name in the book, swore to never be friends again and stormed out. Then a few days later they were friends again, Megan would try to manipulate Sarah, Sarah wouldn't buy it, and Megan would become furious again. Then came the MySpace attack. Not the one you're reading about in the news, but the one that started this whole thing.
After the final break-up in their frienship, Megan coordinated a MySpace attack on my daughter. Since she didn't have access to MySpace herself, she had to work through friends. I wasn't too surprised because I knew that Megan was grounded from MySpace the previous year after she made a fake profile with a friend to go prank and bully a classmate they didn't like.
Fortunately, that prank didn't go far, and neither did her latest attempted prank on my daughter. But the damage was done to my child, and I knew what kind of child Megan was, depression or not.
Now I had nothing but sympathy for Megan's condition. But my sympathy has limits. When you come after my daughter and try to hurt her like that, my patience wears out. This troubled child was no longer able to poison my baby in person, so she decided to reach out on the Internet to do it instead. Like any parent, when you see the ill-behaved child next door causing trouble for your family, you want to wring the neck of the parents who let it happen. But, as Megan's parents made it clear earlier, they were not about to come down on their precious Megan. I had no recourse with them. And, forbidding the children from seeing each other was not effective because Megan could simply harass my daughter online.
Then, my daughter heard that Megan was lobbying her parents to get her MySpace back. I was instantly terrified. That little monster was a tremendous poison for my daughter as-is. I didn't want to think about what kind of damage she would do if she had total access to the internet. I talked the situation over with people I knew and trusted, who told me to be very afraid. Teenage bullying was rampant on MySpace, and there were very few, if any, legal options for people being harassed. Everyone's advice was: if you're harassed, your only option is to delete your profile and run. It won't stop people from saying bad things about you, but at least you won't have to see it.
I wanted to hide my daughter away from all of this, and delete her MySpace, but she begged and pleaded with me to let her stay. I know it's MySpace and it's a social hub for teens today and I didn't want my daughter to be the only one without, so I relented.
Instead, I worked with a couple of people I knew to create a profile so I could keep tabs on Megan. They helped me add pictures and graphics and music so it would look like a boy that Megan would want to talk to. We didn't totally know what we were doing with the Josh Evans persona, or where it would lead, so I kept it quiet. We did our best to shmooze Megan into opening up. I complimented her pictures and said how great she was. I very gently asked her about her school life and her friends hoping that if she was planning any attack on my daughter that we would be one step ahead of her and could take this evidence to her parents, show them what their daughter is up to so they would finally take action.
A couple of weeks went by and Megan was buying it. We were surprised at how she could be so nice to "Josh" and still have an undercurrent of negativity when she talked about school friends. We wanted to make sure she wasn't going to try anything to get back at Sarah, so we kept the account going. When Megan started talking about being in love and wanting to do boyfriend/girlfriend stuff with "Josh" I got concerned. How do we keep going for information AND figure out a way to let her down gently once we were convinced nothing was going to happen? What if we let her down, and she regressed and came after my daughter anyway? I was becoming very confused and concerned then. Megan was unpredictable and I absolutely did NOT want her harassing my child. I didn't know what to do, so I kept going. I played down her innuendo. Anytime she became explicit, "Josh" backed off and kept the compliments above board.
Then I found out that Megan's parents were actively monitoring the account! Everything that had been going on, they were witness to. This troubled me deeply: were they not concerned when their 13 year old daughter wanted to have heavy duty make out sessions with a 16 year old boy? Hello!
I had "Josh" friend other people that Megan knew all the while so that if anyone else knew of anything that was going to happen, we'd have that much more chance of staying ahead of the game. One of the girls we friended even figured out that the profile was fake. We let her in on it, and asked what she wanted. Turns out, she wasn't friendly with Megan, either, so she wanted to help. I gave her access to the account.
It wasn't long after that that we saw what was being said on other accounts: Megan was still mad at Sarah and was very quiety spreading cruel rumors. She kept it off her own MySpace because she knew that kind of stuff would get her grounded off it again. I was furious! Not only was Megan obviously not going to stop until she had her revenge, but now there was no way to get any evidence about it.
That's when I decided I would have to teach Megan a lesson and give her a taste of her own medicine.
I decided that I would shut down the Josh account, and not be nice about it. Megan's feelings be damned, and to hell with her consequence! I was going to protect my daughter no matter what. So I sent the break up e-mail to Megan saying that Josh didn't want to be friends because Megan was very cruel to her friends. Naturally, Megan freaked, and I tried to keep the messages short and sweet. As a last resort bargaining chip, I figured that if she really loved Josh then maybe he could pressure her into stopping her lies. But it didn't work, and the situation devolved lightning fast.
Megan was screaming at Josh for answers on who he had been talking to: she wanted to know who ratted her out so she could take out revenge on them, too. I shared Megan's messages with everyone involved and encouraged everyone to stand up against her and not take her crap anymore.
Instead, once the word got out about Megan, so did all her romantic replies, as well as a few secrets and the MySpace crowd ganged up on her.But I didn't realize that this group would react that way. I expected a certain amount of bullying, and I was OK with it. I wanted Megan to get a taste of what she had been dishing out this whole time. But I didn't want it to go as far as it did. It's true that the slut and fat references came out of what I shared. And by the time I was done with work on that day, the bullying against Megan had progressed pretty far. I had heard about the "better off without you" message and that's when I told everyone to cool it. Megan had been punished enough, and I was satisfied that she would think twice before bullying or manipulating anyone again. I don't know who wrote that "better off without you" message.
That night I saw the ambulance lights at the Meier house, and then I saw them take Megan out on a stretcher. I was stunned and horrified. I wasn't sure what had happened, and when they had said Megan tried to kill herself, I didn't believe it. Yes, Megan suffered from depression, but she was always laughing and smiling when we were on vacations, or at sleep overs. After the shock wore off, I panicked: what if Megan ended her life after what happened on MySpace? It seemed ridiculous. When kids were bullied, they went to their rooms and cried -- even the depressed ones. They didn't hang themselves.
I was distraught over the event, so I instructed the key people involved to stay quiet to protect themselves against any counter-bullying, and I deleted the Josh profile. I kept the truth from the Meier family because there was simply no reason to come forward. Their little girl died the next day at the hospital. Their lives were destroyed. What good would it do to inform them that their daughter's MySpace boyfriend was a fake? They wouldn't believe that their daughter was a MySpace bully and a real life manipulator when she was alive, so why add to their grief now? I stayed quiet. I went to the funeral to pay my respects to this troubled child who took herself to a tragic end. We mourned the loss of a girl who once was a good friend. We all tried to get on with our lives.
Little by little rumors of the cause of Megan's suicide spread. Of course the Josh break-up was mentioned, as was the MySpace bullying. People talked about the need to stop MySpace bullying. There were a couple of news reports, but it never went anywhere.
Until six weeks later when one of the girls involved decided to link me to the issue. When Megan's parents found out that the Josh account was me, they focused all of their rage and pain and guilt at me. Instantly, what had been a mysterious suicide with no definite answers became a personal vendetta.
Just like Megan, her parents showed their dark side and scared the holy hell out of me when they dumped our smashed foosball table on our driveway. Instantly I knew we were dealing with unbalanced people. Aggravated by their child's death and their own culture of anxiety, I very much feared for my family. I made sure to report the incident to the police so the Meiers would know that we would stand up for ourselves and that the police were watching, should they choose to do something rash.
A little bit after that, I decided to try to diffuse the situation and confront the parents. I would lay out everything I knew, all the intent, and everything I thought. If they didn't want to accept the truth about their daughter, then there was nothing else I could do. But I would at least try. Unfortunately, Tina & Ron would have none of it. They wouldn't talk to us, they wouldn't deal with us. Ron pretty much came unglued when we made one last attempt. They had nothing but raw hatred for us, and they wouldn't listen. That's when I realized it was hopeless.
The police investigation was especially frightening. We cooperated as best we could. I provided my statement, but I was not satisfied with the officer who took it. He got most of the details wrong, and he left out intricacies that I've explained here. When I tried to get the report corrected, an officer at the desk said she was familiar with our case, and flat out refused to allow us to amend our statement. That was the beginning of the backlash. That it came from a police officer truly shook us.
The investigators asked both us and the Meiers to remain quiet about the issue while they conducted their work. They warned us of small town mob violence and undue media attention. We agreed and went on with our lives. We heard almost nothing for nearly nine months. Our lives seemed to be getting back to normal, despite the family down the street that still grieved visibly and had devolved into fights and separation. I truly felt bad for them. They lost their baby, and now they were tearing themselves apart because the pain wasn't getting any better. I made sure to kiss and hug my Sarah every night and tell her how much I loved her. We actually grew closer from it.
Then the investigation was over. No charges would be filed. We were relieved. It felt like a weight had finally been lifted from us. But not so for Tina & Ron. They had focused their rage on us and blamed us for everything. I could understand their pain and their guilt, but I had had enough of their accusations. One day I did snap and told Tina to "give it a rest." Looking back, it was insensitive to say. But, you have to understand that for months we had been dealing with a family that didn't want to listen to our side of the story and only called for us to "be gone." Like I said, my sympathy has limits.
After the investigation, Tina made it clear she wasn't going to let this go. We weren't sure what to expect, but we had grown to be dismissive of her and her incoherent ranting. Then came the newspaper article, which instantly painted us as hoaxers who were out to make Megan kill herself.
You see, this is why I now have an extreme distrust for any media: they paint the story in whatever way gets the most readers. Everyone from Pokin to Andersoon Cooper has painted this story as if we set out to destroy Megan, as if her suicide was a foregone conclusion of our actions. But it's not. We didn't know Megan was going to do what she did. If we knew it was going to end like that, I wouldn't have started this whole thing. I had no intention for Megan to be so drastic. I wanted her to learn a lesson so she could be a better person. I didn't want her to die.
Then Sarah Wells outed me. Then the hate and harassment and threats poured in. Even against my daughter. First there were dozens of calls, then hundreds, then there was national news, and everyone went crazy.
That's why I started this blog and posted as "Kirsten." I was so angry at the world for being so unfair, especially when it came to my daughter whom I had sworn to protect from all of this. I took a low blow at Megan's memory because I desperately wanted the world to at least get a glimpse of the truth.
But that's all over now. The final word from authorities has come down that there will be no charges, so I don't have to remain silent. There's no point in hiding anymore. The internet has made it clear that mob revenge must prevail, even if there's no justice in it. So be it.
Here I am, internet. Come get me.
Tuesday morning, Megan Mieir's parents and Lori Drew's lawyer appeared on the Today show. The Mieirs are considering a civil case and the Drews have an attorney. No decent attorney would have let Lori Drew near a keyboard on the eve of this appearance.