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The Fake Debate
George Bush and John Kerry finally crawl into the ring tonight to do rhetorical combat in one of the most important, historic, meaningful, stupendous, and all-around spectacular television events of all time!!
Or so we've been told.
In truth, this thing is as scripted as "The Apprentice" and as dramatic as "Lost." With the campaigns having signed a memorandum of agreement that has more stipulations than a Van Halen backstage contract rider (post David Lee Roth, alas), tonight's debate will have all the spontaneity and life of an Orrin Hatch house party.
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This "debate" would more accurately be described as a stream of alternating sound bites, with the candidates repeating whole sections of their stump speeches. We'll watch anyway (on the off chance that something substantive slips out), but most likely the debate will go a little something like this:
Bush: Strength. 9/11. Nucular [sic].
Kerry: Well, as the great man Plutarch once remarked, whose writings I studied during free moments in my swift boat, and who is, while profound, somehow not convincing as judged strictly on the ontological soundness of his arguments...errr, I mean to say, "Strength."
On second thought, maybe we'll just pop in our new Star Wars DVD instead.
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But the game has changed: Congress voted to eliminate funding for public media across the country. Here at LAist that means a loss of $1.7 million in our budget every year. We want to assure you that despite growing threats to free press and free speech, LAist will remain a voice you know and trust. Speaking frankly, the amount of reader support we receive will help determine how strong of a newsroom we are going forward to cover the important news in our community.
We’re asking you to stand up for independent reporting that will not be silenced. With more individuals like you supporting this public service, we can continue to provide essential coverage for Southern Californians that you can’t find anywhere else. Become a monthly member today to help sustain this mission.
Thank you for your generous support and belief in the value of independent news.
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