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On The Charts - What An Imbecile! What An Ultra Maroon! : Maroon 5, Rihanna, Erasure, Bjork, David Guetta, Elliot Yamin, Ozzy Osbourne, Shakira, Linkin Park, Pirates Of The Caribbean

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LAist is proud to offer a weekly chart roundup of Billboard Magazine's most coveted rankings. Join us as we revel in the conventional standard of musical success. Let us cross our fingers, hoist our lighters, and dream together of the supreme resurrection of artist-driven recordings that will forever eclipse the dark cloud of big label greed, A&R sleaze and disposable audio. Amen.

Here are this week's chart toppers. Behold the #1s.
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Billboard Charts
Issue Date: June 9, 2007

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The Billboard 200 - It Won't Be Soon Before Long : Maroon 5
The Billboard Hot 100 - Umbrella : Rihanna Featuring Jay - Z
Hot Dance Airplay - The World Is Mine : David Guetta
Hot Dance Singles Sales - I Could Fall In Love With You : Erasure
Hot RingMasters - Party Like A Rockstar : Shop Boyz
Top Concert Grosses - Shakira : CIE
Top DVD Sales - Pan's Labyrinth
Top Electronic Albums - Volta : Bjork
Top Heatseekers - The County Hounds EP : Ca$his
Top Independent Albums - Elliott Yamin : Elliott Yamin
Top Internet Albums - Black Rain : Ozzy Osbourne
Top Pop Catalog - Songs About Jane : Maroon 5
Top Rap Albums - Cold Summer/The Authorized Mixtape : Young Jeezy Presents U.S.D.A.
Top Rock Albums - Minutes To Midnight : Linkin Park
Top Soundtracks - Pirates Of The Caribbean (At World's End) : Soundtrack
Top Video Game Rentals - PS2 : Spider-Man 3

More top slot winners and my favorite joke, after the jump...

Hot/Pop
The Billboard 200 - It Won't Be Soon Before Long : Maroon 5
The Billboard Hot 100 - Umbrella : Rihanna Featuring Jay - Z
Top Pop Catalog - Songs About Jane : Maroon 5
Pop 100 Airplay - U + Ur Hand : Pink
Pop 100 - Umbrella : Rihanna Featuring Jay - Z
Hot 100 Airplay - Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin') : T-Pain Feat. Yung Joc
Hot 100 Recurrent Airplay - Lost Without U : Robin Thicke
Hot Singles Recurrents - Lost Without U : Robin Thicke
Hot Singles Sales - Beautiful Liar : Beyonce & Shakira
Billboard Comprehensive Albums - It Won't Be Soon Before Long : Maroon 5
Bubbling Under Hot 100 Singles - The Way I Are : Timbaland Featuring Keri Hilson & D.O.E.

Digital & Mobile
Top Digital Albums - It Won't Be Soon Before Long : Maroon 5
Top Internet Albums - Black Rain : Ozzy Osbourne
Hot Digital Songs - Umbrella : Rihanna Featuring Jay - Z
Hot Digital Tracks - Umbrella : Rihanna Featuring Jay - Z
Hot RingMasters - Party Like A Rockstar : Shop Boyz
Hot Ringtones - 2 Step : Unk

R&B/Hip-Hop
Top Rap Albums - Cold Summer/The Authorized Mixtape : Young Jeezy Presents U.S.D.A.
Top R&B/Hip-Hop Albums - Cold Summer/The Authorized Mixtape : Young Jeezy Presents U.S.D.A.
Top R&B/Hip-Hop Catalog Albums - Greatest Hits : Bone Thugs - N - Harmony
Hot Adult R&B Airplay - Please Don't Go : Tank
Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Airplay - Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin') : T-Pain Feat. Yung Joc
Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Recurrent Airplay - Imagine Me : Kirk Franklin
Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Recurrents - Imagine Me : Kirk Franklin
Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Singles Sales - Inside Out : Temar Underwood
Hot R&B/Hip-Hop Songs - Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin') : T-Pain Featuring Yung Joc
Hot Rap Tracks - Party Like A Rockstar : Shop Boyz
Bubbling Under R&B/Hip-Hop Singles - Money In The Bank : Swizz Beatz

Country
Top Bluegrass Albums - Ricky Skaggs & Bruce Hornsby : Ricky Skaggs & Bruce Hornsby
Top Country Albums - Some Hearts : Carrie Underwood
Top Country Catalog Albums - Feels Like Today : Rascal Flatts
Hot Country Recurrents - Settlin' : Sugarland
Hot Country Songs - Good Directions : Billy Currington

Latin
Top Latin Albums - Ahora Y Siempre : Alacranes Musical
Hot Latin Pop Airplay - Si Nos Quedara Poco Tiempo : Chayanne
Hot Latin Songs - Dimelo : Enrique Iglesias
Latin Pop Albums - La Mejor... Coleccion : Marco Antonio Solis
Latin Regional Mexican Airplay - Dame Un Beso : Intocable
Latin Regional Mexican Albums - Ahora Y Siempre : Alacranes Musical
Latin Rhythm Airplay - Impacto : Daddy Yankee Featuring Fergie
Latin Rhythm Albums - Mas Flow : Los Benjamins : Luny Tunes & Tainy
Latin Tropical Airplay - Mas Que Tu Amigo : Tito Nieves
Latin Tropical Albums - K.O.B. : Live : Aventura

Rock
Top Rock Albums - Minutes To Midnight : Linkin Park
Hot Mainstream Rock Tracks - What I've Done : Linkin Park
Hot Modern Rock Tracks - What I've Done : Linkin Park

Top 40/Adult Contemporary
Hot Adult Contemporary Tracks - Waiting On The World To Change : John Mayer
Hot Adult Top 40 Tracks - If Everyone Cared : Nickelback
Hot Adult Contemporary Recurrents - Unwritten : Natasha Bedingfield
Rhythmic Top 40 - Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin') : T-Pain Featuring Yung Joc

Heatseekers/Independent
Top Heatseekers - The County Hounds EP : Ca$his
Top Independent Albums - Elliott Yamin : Elliott Yamin
Tastemakers - It Won't Be Soon Before Long : Maroon 5
East North Central - The County Hounds EP : Ca$his
Middle Atlantic - Boys Like Girls : Boys Like Girls
Mountain - The County Hounds EP : Ca$his
Northeast - Act II : The Meaning Of, And All Things Regarding Ms. Leading : The Dear Hunter
Pacific - Da Baydestrian : Mistah F.A.B.
South Atlantic - Boys Like Girls : Boys Like Girls
South Central - Countrified : Emerson Drive
West North Central - Countrified : Emerson Drive

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Dance/Electronic
Top Electronic Albums - Volta : Bjork
Hot Dance Airplay - The World Is Mine : David Guetta
Hot Dance Club Play - Change : Kimberley Locke
Hot Dance Singles Sales - I Could Fall In Love With You : Erasure

Classical/Jazz
Top Classical Albums - Appassionato : Yo-Yo Ma
Top Contemporary Jazz - Ladies' Choice : Paul Taylor
Top Jazz Albums - Call Me Irresponsible : Michael Buble
Top Classical Budget Albums - Baby Einstein/Lullaby Classics : The Baby Einstein Music Box Orchestra
Top Classical Crossover Albums - Awake : Josh Groban
Top Classical Midline Albums - Baby Einstein/Baby Bach : The Baby Einstein Music Box Orchestra

International - ISSUE DATE : 2007 - 06 - 02 :
European Top 100 Albums - Minutes To Midnight : Linkin Park
European Hot 100 Singles - Beautiful Liar : Beyonce & Shakira
Euro Digital Tracks - Umbrella : Rihanna Featuring Jay - Z

Videos
Top DVD Sales - Pan's Labyrinth
Top Kid Video - Curious George : Rocket Ride And Other Adventures
Top Music Video - Greatest Hits
Top VHS Sales - Thomas The Tank Engine : Breaks The Rules & Other Stories
Top Video Game Rentals - PS2 : Spider-Man 3
Top Video Rentals - Pan's Labyrinth
Hot Videoclip Tracks - Buy U A Drank (Shawty Snappin') : T-Pain Featuring Yung Joc
Video Sales/Health and Fitness - Dancing With The Stars : Cardio Dance
Video Sales/Recreational Sports - WWE : Ric Flair & The Four Horsemen

Additional Genres
Top Blues Albums - The Real Deal : Greatest Hits Vol. 1 : Stevie Ray Vaughan And Double Trouble
Top Cast Albums - Wicked : Original Broadway Cast Recording
Top Comedy Albums - Morning Constitutions : Larry The Cable Guy
Top Compilation Albums - NOW 24 : Various Artists
Top Concert Grosses - Shakira : CIE
Top Holiday Albums - Tim Burton's The Nightmare Before Christmas (Special Edition) : Soundtrack
Top Kid Audio - Hannah Montana : TV Soundtrack
Top New Age Albums - Amarantine : Enya
Top Reggae Albums - Mind Control : Stephen Marley
Top Soundtracks - Pirates Of The Caribbean (At World's End) : Soundtrack
Top World Albums - Djin Djin : Angelique Kidjo
Billboard Comprehensive Albums - It Won't Be Soon Before Long : Maroon 5

MY FAVORITE JOKE:
What did the zero say to the eight?
Nice belt.