The holiday season may be the most wonderful time of the year, but it is arguably also the most expensive.
If the thought of shopping til you drop makes you want to hide under the covers ‘til 2025, you are not alone.
According to a recent survey by personal finance company WalletHub, 68% of people of those surveyed say "Santa will be less generous this year" due to inflation and nearly half said they still have debt from last year's holiday season.
WalletHub analyst Cassandra Happe blamed inflation as the most chilling factor in regard to spending, and also pointed to soaring credit card rates. “A lot of people rely on credit cards for their holiday shopping,” said Happe, “but as they see all these rates picking up — especially with the store credit cards — they might be a little more hesitant to rack up those high balances because they are going to be paying more in the long run.”
To make matters worse, the WalletHub survey revealed that nearly half of those surveyed said said they still have debt from last year's holiday season.
So what can we do when our hearts urge us to play Santa but our wallets vote for Scrooge?
The courage to say 'I can't afford it'
Licensed marriage and family therapist, Tustin-based Maritza Plascencia of Mindful Quest Relationship Counseling said anxiety around money and the upcoming holidays has been on patients' minds.
“My advice for every scenario that has come up has been: honesty. Get very honest with yourself first about what it is you can afford, and can’t afford. It’s no secret that we are hurting right now, that our economy is hurting. It’s just a matter of looking around,” said Plascencia, “everyone is talking about it.”
We asked her how to overcome the shyness or guilt around asking family and friends to try a different type of exchange this year or eliminate swapping presents altogether.
“I think people find out that in just being honest there is going to be some relief,” said Plascencia, “because they are going to find out that others are feeling exactly how they are feeling.”
Can you identify the source?
Los Angeles-based licensed clinical psychologist Dina Cuervo of Synergy E Therapy also suggested that we try to identify the origin of the guilt and the pressure we feel to give gifts. "Where is that 'should,' that 'expectation,' coming from? It could be from cultural influences" or how we were raised.
“Have compassion for yourself and your current financial struggles,” said Cuervo. "Would family and friends want you to put yourself in a precarious financial position just to exchange gifts?”
Instead, Cuervo advises we center the conversation around the holiday traditions of giving and sharing that mean the most to us — and consider what made the memories of seasons past so special. For some, it may have nothing to do with gifts at all, and for others, it will.
“It’s really about bringing it back to what people are looking for,” said Cuervo, “that experience of love, of caring, of connection, and then asking. So how do we create that?”
But what do we do if we like giving (and receiving) gifts? Consider proposing a more budget-friendly exchange among your friends and relatives or ways to celebrate in the spirit of the season. Here are seven fun alternatives to out-of-control gift giving.
1. Secret Santa
Many large families organize a Secret Santa swap. Here's how it works: Names are drawn out of a hat and paired until everyone participating has been assigned one person to buy for. Typically, an agreed-upon budget is established.
Feel free to improvise on this method. An extremely low budget could encourage creativity. Or perhaps gifts could revolve around a chosen theme. And yes — you do ultimately reveal the names of gift givers, either from the start or at the end of the gift exchange. Feel free to improvise on this method.
This method works well whether the plan is to exchange gifts in-person as a group, or ship them to far flung family members.
2. White Elephant exchange
This works best in person. A budget is decided upon and all participants bring a wrapped gift. Make sure everyone knows what kind of gift exchange it will be. Serious, "real" gifts? Such as a gift card to a movie theater, or a coffee mug? Or funny, funky gag gifts?
At the gathering, gifts are placed in a pile and participants draw a number to determine the gift opening order. The first person up chooses a gift from the pile and opens it. The next person up has the choice of "stealing" the gift, or selecting an unopened gift (and the person who went first gets to choose again). Then, the game resumes with No. 3. When everyone has a gift, the person who went first has the opportunity to keep the gift they have, or make the final "steal."
A fun twist on this exchange: Those attempting to steal a gift from another participant must beat them at Rock, Paper, Scissors — or correctly answer a pre-prepared trivia question.
3. Choose your own adventure
Instead of spending on gifts, agree upon an activity or an event, such as going to a concert, a play, theme park, sporting event or restaurant. Everybody pays their own way and the emphasis is on spending time together making memories. (Here are 12 great ideas for enjoying a shared experience in and around L.A.)
4. Group trip
Whether it’s a week or a weekend away, a group trip might be just the ticket for families or friends who would prefer to share an experience (think: wine tasting, skiing, white water rafting or an AirBnB Palm Springs getaway) rather than an exchange of gifts.
Be sure to discuss budget, location, and available vacation time as well as division of duties or responsibilities for preparation before, during and after the trip. Then, pack your bags and be sure to take lots of pictures! Admittedly, this one can be pricey. But you sidestep all the stresses of shopping.
5. Ornament exchange
Using ornaments as the theme, this gift exchange could take the form of a White Elephant swap-style or a Secret Santa. Set a budget, then get festive. Holiday sweaters optional.
6. Kids only
The holidays are an especially magical time for kids. One gift giving strategy is to agree on buying gifts ... for kids only. Again, this can take the form of Secret Santa — where adult members of the group are assigned a budget and a specific child to gift; or the adults can agree to buy a gift for each child.
The catch here is defining who the kids are, and when they “age out” of the practice. Do they exit the gifting pool after turning 18? After college? After the birth of their own child? Clarification in advance will avoid hurt feelings.
7. No gifts, period
You might be surprised at how many of your friends and relatives vote for this one. Doesn't mean you can't get together for a holiday potluck or cookies exchange, though!
Do you have a suggestion for sidestepping the holiday gift giving madness? Let us know below, and we may add it to our list.
