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Living In Sin: Take My Husband, Please
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Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice to LA's sexually curious. You can see her column in print, too, in the LA Alternative Press. Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.
Dear Jen,
I'm almost 53 and have spent my entire life married, raising a family and helping my husband have a successful business. I feel it's my time to enjoy life and do some of the things I'd like to do, yet my husband makes fun of my girlfriends, is a control freak, doesn't respect my opinion, runs the business and spends the money as if it's "his" not "ours." I've lost a lot of weight and look and feel about 38 or so, and am actually involved with someone that age "for fun."
We've talked about divorce, but my husband thinks it's too difficult and expensive. Plus, I feel I've invested too much in our business to divorce him and watch some bimbette come in and reap all the benefits of my hard work. I've suggested therapy, but he won't go. We do have sex occasionally, but it's always me begging for it, and then he tells me I'm bad and perverted
I want someone who enjoys what I enjoy, and who is vibrant and alive. Hence the 38 year old , who, unfortunately, is married too. Any advice?- Stuck With a Dud
Dear Dud,
So you're wondering if you should spend the rest of your precious time on this planet disrespected, ridiculed, humiliated, degraded and treated like a filthy whore, just so you can, what, buy cool stuff? Or cock block some non-existent hottie from molesting your bank account? I realize it's not that simple, but you know what? At the same time, it kind of is.
Some smart person once said, "being spiteful is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemies to die." Even if you left him, rented a cheapo apartment, traded dining out for dining in, stopped waxing, started shaving and got rear-ended by his bimbette in her brandy new Mercedes, you'd still be in a better spot. Because you'd be living life for yourself, not in spite of him. Makes a big diffy. Helps keep away things like The Cancer, too.
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Get yourself a divorce lawyer, a really really good and scary one, and fight for what's rightfully yours. Who cares what your husband thinks? He's not the boss of you. People get divorced all the time. People with lots more money and children and complications, as well as those with a lot fewer options - you clearly know how to run a successful business. Why not cut your losses and start your own? Or tell other people how to start theirs?
You're foxy, smart, and have no problem getting young men to crawl up your skirt - why oh why would you want to waste all that by rotting alongside your blob of a husband until death do you part?
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