Living In Sin: Take My Husband, Please
Every week in Living in Sin, Jen Sincero provides advice to LA's sexually curious. You can see her column in print, too, in the LA Alternative Press. Ask Jen your questions: all are posted anonymously.
I'm almost 53 and have spent my entire life married, raising a family and helping my husband have a successful business. I feel it's my time to enjoy life and do some of the things I'd like to do, yet my husband makes fun of my girlfriends, is a control freak, doesn't respect my opinion, runs the business and spends the money as if it's "his" not "ours." I've lost a lot of weight and look and feel about 38 or so, and am actually involved with someone that age "for fun."
We've talked about divorce, but my husband thinks it's too difficult and expensive. Plus, I feel I've invested too much in our business to divorce him and watch some bimbette come in and reap all the benefits of my hard work. I've suggested therapy, but he won't go. We do have sex occasionally, but it's always me begging for it, and then he tells me I'm bad and pervertedI want someone who enjoys what I enjoy, and who is vibrant and alive. Hence the 38 year old , who, unfortunately, is married too. Any advice?
- Stuck With a Dud
So you're wondering if you should spend the rest of your precious time on this planet disrespected, ridiculed, humiliated, degraded and treated like a filthy whore, just so you can, what, buy cool stuff? Or cock block some non-existent hottie from molesting your bank account? I realize it's not that simple, but you know what? At the same time, it kind of is.
Some smart person once said, "being spiteful is like drinking poison and waiting for your enemies to die." Even if you left him, rented a cheapo apartment, traded dining out for dining in, stopped waxing, started shaving and got rear-ended by his bimbette in her brandy new Mercedes, you'd still be in a better spot. Because you'd be living life for yourself, not in spite of him. Makes a big diffy. Helps keep away things like The Cancer, too.