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LAist Interview: Blag Dahlia Of The Dwarves

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BlagHeCassellab_w1_07_reg.jpg
Photo by Chris Casella


Photo by Chris Casella
The path of terror and destruction heads to Los Angeles with a Dwarves show coming to Safari Sam's on July 20th. The Dwarves are a punk band going strong since the late 80's originating out of Chicago, who are legendary for their wild shows. If you go to a Dwarves show someone's wiener is coming out, and if you're in the front row... you're prolly going to get "involved". Blag Dahlia, the guy without bikini bottoms and a Mexican wrestler mask, sat down with us for some sarcastic answers so our horrible questions:LAist: We can skip any questions you think are lame or whatever.

Blag Dalhia: That might make a pretty short interview.

Since you guys have toured the world, front and back, how does Los Angeles rank among other big cities?

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LA has always been very kind to us, they love punk rock and they love assholes, so we do well. And I like silicone in small doses. There's nowhere else I'd rather be a quasi-celebrity than Los Angeles!

Is it difficult to get through airport security wearing only combat boots and a luchador mask?

I always try and look like a terrorist to divert attention from HeWhoCanNotBeNamed. What they should ban from airports are children and the obese.

How did the whole "HeWhoCannotBeNamed is dead!" thing get started, and what's the story? Were Sub/Pop being a bunch of cry babies?

The answer to the second question is 'yes', Sub/Pop were a bunch of
crybabies, and in fact still are, those of them that are still alive.

The first question is more complicated. HeWhoCanNotBeNamed has transcended
life and death as we know it. He has entered a twilight region where things
that are really are not, where thought and perception are illusory. Our
last record was called, "The Dwarves Must Die", and yet we continue to rock
and gain legions of fans. How can you explain this juggernaut of sound,
this mythic beast that continues to captivate audiences all over the world?

I think it's because our testicles are huge!

What's going on with your new book, Blag? what's up with it?

NINA is the story of a young girl and her naughty exploits after her parents die. It's a story where the female is pretty much without remorse.

What are the best and worst parts about being The Dwarves?

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The best part are the worshipful females. The worst part is the music industry.

Are you going to watch (or have watched already) that movie "What We Do Is Secret", the one about Darby Crash and the Germs?

I've always been a big Germs fan.

What's the band do for fun while they're on the road?

Rum, sodomy and the lash.

Is it true bassist XXXXX disappeared in Detroit on a crack binge during a 1992 tour?

Probably.

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Rate this interview so far?

Inferior to CREEM, superior to SPIN.

How would you describe The Dwarve's core audience?

Not terribly picky.

What projects or things are in the future for The Dwarves?

We plan to rock, roll and retardate.

What final words can you give LAist's readers?

Www.thedwarves.com has all kinds of sick stuff on it, including dirty
pictures, free music and the FEFU video that we did with the Suicide Girls.
Now take your top off!