How to live a more playful life and why it's important

Somewhere between childhood and the corner office, a lot of us are taught that play is something that you outgrow.

But what if that trade-off is actually draining us and leaving us feeling stuck? That's the topic of a new book called The Playful Way: Creativity, Connection, and Joy Through Everyday Moments of Play.

Author Piera Gelardi argues that reclaiming a sense of curiosity, fluidity and aliveness isn't just fun. It's a path to deeper connection, stronger creativity and even a way to move through hard things like grief. Gelardi spoke with LAist’s Austin Cross on AirTalk on her theory of fun and how to be more playful in life.

What made you want to write this book?

Gelardi: I had the privilege of growing up in a really playful family, so I got to see what playfulness looked like in adulthood as my parents built businesses, grew their family, navigated grief and illness, and life-lifeing, and I also had really playful grandparents.

So playfulness was something that was really woven into my life from a young age. As a grade-schooler, our family's favorite activity was doing business brainstorms around the kitchen table, but they would be really wild, really absurd. So we would be saying, "Oh, let's start a kids' karaoke club," and then my dad would say, "Ooh ooh, we can call it kidio-ke."

"The Playful Way" by Piera Gelardi

(

Courtesy HarperOne

)

Moving through my life, I really brought that into building my own business. I brought it into my personal life. And during the pandemic, I was in this big period of transition where I was leaving my company that I'd been at for 15 years. I was navigating the identity transformation of becoming a mom. I was feeling really stuck. What I ended up doing was leading these play workshops for adults throughout the pandemic on Zoom.

It was the most aligned and alive thing I've ever done. People were telling me, "This is helping me with my anxiety, this is helping me with my depression, this is helping me connect to my mom who's on another continent."

I just became fascinated by why that was, and I did so much research about the power of play in adulthood, and I realized that I was creating this space that was giving adults permission to play.

She worried no one would take her seriously

Gelardi: But... I was worried I wouldn't be taken seriously if I dedicated this chapter to play.

I asked the universe for a sign, and I went for this walk, and first I saw a playground, but it looked like a medieval torture device, and so I decided, "Sorry, universe, not my sign."

I walked down to the river's edge, and I heard a clinking noise, and I looked down at my feet, and there was a message in a bottle, and I fished it out of the river.

I couldn't believe it. It was a message from this 7-year-old, Eliano, and he talked about his love of play.

Cross: That's a sign, right? If ever there was one.

Gelardi: If ever there was one. His mom's email was on the letter, so I emailed her, and actually, this message in a bottle was a project they did during the pandemic to connect with people through play at a time when we were all so isolated.

Listeners called in to LAist's AirTalk to share how they incorporate play into their daily lives.

Are we in a play recession?

Gelardi: I think we're in a play recession. As we grow up, we get this messaging that ... play is frivolous, that it's unserious, that it's the opposite of work.

We start to pack away those playful qualities, and what that does to us in adulthood is that it makes us less resilient, it makes us less connected, it makes us less joyful. We become play deprived. It's at the root, I think, of a lot of burnout.

Don't pack away your play

Gelardi: I was sitting in meetings. I didn't ask a question because I didn't want to be seen as not knowing. I didn't float big ideas because I didn't want to look unrealistic. I didn't make a joke because I didn't want to seem like a joker. And as I did that, I started to lose intrinsic motivation.

I started to lose the connection to the people around me, and I started to lose the joy in the day-to-day. So it wasn't until I realized that I was overworked and underplayed that I started to weave play back into my day-to-day, that I saw the power of those qualities in my work and in my life.

Think about your child self

Gelardi: I often tell people to go to the lost and found — think about the child version of you.

What made you lose track of time? What were you so passionate about? And then what might be an adult version of that? For me, it was beachcombing as a child, and now I walk around New York City doing wonder wanders with those beginner's eyes looking for delight.

This transcript has been edited for length and clarity.