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Charcoal Opens, Forgets To Make Food

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For at least one major Hollywood hotspot last night, it was all smoke and no fire. And ironically enough, that molten mecca rockstar restaurant wanna-be of radness is named “Charcoal”.

El Ocho de Mayo marked the much bally-hooed opening of the latest Place to be Scene, in the bare-ass belly of the underused ArcLight Cinema Center, a location screaming of great late-night possibilities.

If you’re still wondering what the hell kind of place “Charcoal” is, well, so am I. Yes, it’s supposed to be a restaurant and bar. And also sorta a club / sexy after-movie deal-closer locale...

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Uhhh... okay, look – if you’re gonna bill yourself first and foremost as a restaurant, then it’s probably not such a great idea to COMPLETELY RUN OUT OF FOOD before the party even gets started!

The “official” word was that the Joyous Invite-Only Party Celebrating the Official Opening of “Charcoal” was kicking off at 10:00p.m. And everybody knows you don’t show up early for anything in Hollywood – God forbid you expose yourself as the insecure geek you really are! So, of course, I got there at 9:20 p.m. and just barely got in by the skin of my...well, shamelessly exposed flesh – jeez!

But I had nothing to fear because the place was already jam-packed to the rafters! Squeezing through the sooper-packed mega-wattage Holly-would-do-anything-for-a-photo-op-yes-I’m-an-actor-slash-musician crowd, I found some people willing to acknowledge my existence, and was promptly informed that the kitchen had completely run out of EVERYTHING edible.