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The Low Spark Of High Heeled Boys

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Freshly atoned and ready to face the world, I bring forth the review of last week’s Scissor Sisters Shrine appearance..

Let’s start with a tip of the hat and heaping plate of kudos to the crack security team. A+ for excessive paranoia, but D- for negligent handbag-cavity search. The mondo satchel strapped across my bod like Rambo could have easily been packing heat (bringing “death before disco” to new and terrifying heights). But they never actually dug in the purse, they just shined a shiny light across the top of the contents, revealing Rx bottles (which until that moment I hadn’t given any thought to).

“This girl’s got a lot of pills” the checker shrieked to a supervisor as if I was the least sneaky drug dealer ever. Instantly, I made a lot of new, winking friends in line. The supervisor bounded across the barricade hoping to bust a cartel kingpin and was more than a little disappointed to find legitimate pharmaceuticals in labeled bottles that matched the laminated embarrassment I call a drivers license (obviously the quaaludes and doobage were in my undies).

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Defeated, the fearless supervisor slinked back to his makeshift quarters, and the original checker proceeded to pat me down, feel me up and make me open my purse yet again, this time to question my non-hollowed out ballpoint pen (that I intended to use to take notes on the show, not this security fiasco…) and then, with one final embarrassing blow, she made me remove from my bag a simply packaged Dermalogica gel that I was toting around to help combat unsightly blemishes. Honestly, I’ve had less thorough exams at the doctor’s office. I can only imagine what fun she and her flashlight had in store for the next mule.

Though the Shrine Auditorium stands like a downtown Taj Mahal, the innards of the Expo portion look more like the gymnasium in Grease. However, instead of streamers and crinoline-clad hand jivers, the place was all glammed out, decorated nicely with fuzzy hats, feather boas, lots of glitter, and my personal favorite, the 7 foot tall gentleman in a just-below-the-goods, red mini-dress, wearing a white-blond wig, banded athletic tube socks (pulled up to the knee) and strappy, black, open-toe heels. A close second was the equally tall lady in black leather hot pants and corset, but she doesn't win because the flip flops she donned did not show the type of outfit-commitment required for such an ensemble or event.

And of course, there was the music, which despite a somewhat awkward venue, translated very well to the stage. The beloved Scissor Sisters opened loudly and proudly with one of their bigger hits, "Take Your Mama," quickly setting a warm tone among the glitterati, and giddily starting the train a-movin toward a 15 song sprint, that included a large chunk from the new album, Ta Dah!, and a spattering of old favs.

Bantering with the crowd, Jake and Ana addressed us with a cheery and breathless, "Hello Los Angeles," though through the muffled acoustics it sounded more like "Mario Lopez wears makeup." They continued on, playing a nonstop, disco-tastic set with remarkable ease and sincerity. And even with all the spectacle, it did not feel remote or inaccessible. The prancing and thumping came as naturally to them, as say, walking down the street. Their good time can certainly be heard on a record, but to see the fun first-hand in a live performance confirms the authenticity of their product. Let me assure you, this high-energy, super-pop cocktail can not be stifled. Not by a crappy PA system. Not by touch-feely security. Not by questionable fashion. They're the real deal.

9/28/06 - Setlist
Shrine Auditorium (Expo Hall)

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Take Your Mama
I Can't Decide
Tits on the Radio
She's My Man
Paul McCartney
Kiss You Off
Everybody Wants the Same Thing
Comfortably Numb
Music Is the Victim
Land of a Thousand Words

I Don't Feel Like Dancin'

PS: 1100 US retailers got their feelings hurt and are refusing to stock the new record. You can still buy it in many stores, just not at Sam Goody, Coconuts, or a bunch of other retail establishments I've never seen in LA.