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MTV's Video Awards 2006: Craptacular! at the Disco

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Even though they have every record company at their beck and call, even though they can basically hand-pick the performers and the songs that they will play, MTV's Video Music Awards are usually hit-or-miss and as comfortable as watching Michael Jackson try to make out with Lisa Marie Presley.

Last night's ceremony was no exception with generous parts cringe and a sprinkle of inspiration. Christina, Justin, and Jack Black were talented and wonderful, as expected. But Ludacris has never been a strong performer and couldn't hold our attention despite being flanked by Pharrell and a dozen booty girls (including the Pussycat Dolls) shaking they moneymakers.

And why diss the Pussycat Dolls? They had two hits in the top ten, they're gorgeous, and they have a new tune with Snoop Dogg, who was in attendance (that would have made a great performance).

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Sarah Silverman, who's usually pretty awesome, fell flat with her jabs at easy targets like Lance Bass being gay and Paris Hilton being skinny. That's all you got Sarah? Or was she pre-censored by MTV, keeping her banter bland?

In all of rock, MTV chose to have All-American Rejects play live? Axl W. Rose was in the house and even presented, would it kill you to have the Guns singer sing a little something? How about bringing back a chestnut to tease for the most-anticipated follow-up since Third Stage, by doing "Patience" with, oh, Jack White, who was right there on stage?