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Kristen Stewart Takes A Stab At Poetry: 'My Heart Is A Wiffle Ball'

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Kristen Stewart penned a horrible poem for Marie Claire (Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images for Sundance Film Festival)
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Kristen Stewart, best known for biting her lower lip and having an affair that broke up her relationship with vampire boy-toy Robert Pattinson, penned a work of art for Marie Claire.

As part of Stewart's interview for the cover issue of Marie Claire, she read aloud her poem that she wrote after the Twilight saga had ended while she was on a road trip through Texas last year. Just before she read it, she said, "Oh, my God, it's so embarrassing. I can't believe I'm doing this."

And after she read her poem, she gave herself props by comparing it to her acting. "I like being able to hit on something, like, 'There it is.' I don't want to sound so fucking utterly pretentious … but after I write something, I go, 'Holy fuck, that's crazy.' It's the same thing with acting: If I do a good scene, I'm always like, 'Whoa, that's really dope.'"

And with extreme pleasure, we bring to you her poem in full, entitled, "My Heart is a Wiffle Ball/Freedom Pole":

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I reared digital moonlight You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black

Kismetly … ubiquitously crest fallen

Thrown down to strafe your foothills

…I'll suck the bones pretty.

Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps

Spray painted everything known to man,

Stream rushed through and all out into

Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck

Through our windows boarded up

He hit your flint face and it sparked.

And I bellowed and you parked

We reached Marfa.

One honest day up on this freedom pole

Devils not done digging

He's speaking in tongues all along the pan handle

And this pining erosion is getting dust in

My eyes

And I'm drunk on your morsels

And so I look down the line

Your every twitch hand drum salute

Salutes mine …


It could have been worse.