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George Clooney And Stacey Keibler Break Up, Media Implodes Trying To Figure Out Why

George Clooney (DFree /
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Well, the dream is over, guys: George Clooney and Stacey Keibler have broken up.

According to every entertainment outlet in the world, the pair—who hadn't been seen together for some time—reportedly called it quits because...well, actually, no one really knows for sure.

People magazine says it's because Kiebler wanted kids, but Clooney didn't:

"Stacy called it quits. She wants to have children and a family someday. She knows where George stands on that," a source close to the couple tells PEOPLE exclusively. "They talked and they quietly stopped being a couple several weeks ago."
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But according to Huffington Post, we might not know the real reason but we do know that the whole kids thing is decidedly not the reason:

Despite reports that Keibler ended things because of her desire to have children, our insider says that's completely false.... "They talk every day," another source tells People. "They were friends before they started dating and they'll be friends after. It was a friendly [breakup]."

Still more reports from US Weekly suggest that the tragic break-up was because of the fact that the pair never actually saw each other:
The pair's biggest issue, the insider says, was that "they haven't been in the same country for a long time. They are both working and haven't seen each other. You can'd have a relationship with someone that you don't see." Neither stars have any regrets about the breakup, the insider adds: "They know this is for the best."

In other words, no one has any fucking idea why they split up. For all we know, they didn't really split up at all. Or they were never really dating. Or they were "dating." suggests, she was on contract and it ran out (scandale!):

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I sort of shrugged and let out a “meh” yesterday when The Sunday People said that George Clooney had laid off his current red carpet ho, because whenever there’s a rumor that he and Stacy Keibler are done, they magically appear hand-in-hand in front of a pap’s camera. But the voice of the publicist, People, is saying that after one contract extension, George has decided to not renew Stacy’s contract again... Stacy should be proud of herself. She had a record-breaking run and achieved the impossible. When everybody said that she wouldn’t last more than one award season, she did it! When everybody said that George Clooney would never keep one of his leased pieces around for two years, she proved them wrong!