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CBS Report On Sequel To "The Big Lebowski" All A Big Fake

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A local CBS affiliate reports that a sequel to the Coen brothers cult classic The Big Lebowski is in the works. Recycling a "news report" from The Examiner, CBS2 says the sequel, amateurishly titled Big Lebowski 2, will start filming in the fall, with Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Philip Seymour Hoffman, Jullianne Moore, and John Turturro all attached to the project, which is obviously all a big fake. Someone should tell CBS2, which reports:

Jeff Bridges returns as “The Dude” along with his right hand man, Walter Sobchak, played by John Goodman. The dynamic duo has just learned that their bowling alley will be closing in exactly one week and to make way for a parking garage. The new villain is a corrupt land owner named Bavarian Illuminati, who is played by Bill Murray, the Examiner said. They seek out the help of “The Dude’s” son Mark Lebowski, played by Jesse Eisenberg, who was conceived in the first movie. He’s now 18-years-old and has become the youngest congressman in the history of the United States.

“The Dude” and Walter make their way to Washington, but they need the help of some old friends to save their prized bowling alley. The boys put aside their differences with their bowling rival, Jesus Quintana (John Turturro), to take on their new enemy. Philip Seymour Hoffman reprises his role as Brandt and Julianne Moore returns as Maude Lebowski, according to the report.

It's beyond us how anyone could fall for this, but this CBS 2 reporter is obviously not a golfer. So where did this fanciful bullshit originate? "It's like Lenin said, 'You look for who will benefit and..." It appears the Examiner cribbed a fake news story from the site "Super Official News," which attributes its bogus report to "The Ass Press." That site also "reports" that "It’s still unclear if Tara Reid will be appearing in the film. It’s rumored that the Coen brothers were so angry after she leaked the project back in 2011 that they pulled her from the film. Sources close to the film say that special guest appearances will be made by Rand and Ron Paul."There's a link at the end of that "article" which explains, "If you’ve made it this far, I hope you enjoyed the story. Unfortunately this is not true. And no, this article is not meant as humor. This is kind of like wishful thinking and my own personal tribute to one of the greatest movies ever made."
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Indeed, this isn't the first time the film's obsessed fans have tried to dream up a sequel—one group of Lebowski "Achievers" collaborated on a fanfic sequel called The Little Lebowski, which was envisioned as a buddy move between The Dude and his teenage son. And the Tara Reid reference in this fake report is based in reality; in 2011 the star said she would be starring in a non-existent sequel, much to the Coens' amusement. In addition, John Turturro has talked about his idea for a spin-off film starring his character, The Jesus, but the Coens want nothing to do with it.