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Bondage Ball 2/24 @ The Ivar

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My whole experience at Bondage Ball started hours before I showed up due to the email spankings I got from whoever was in charge of the guest list. They were unamused by my obnoxious last-minute request to be added (a few hours before the event), but kindly did it anyway and then, because I'm a glutton for punishment, I wrote again and asked if I could get me a plus one. They didn't bother writing me back. When I got there, we were greeted with an unsmiling, eye-rolling "oh, you're the writer" and then both me and my friend were invited in for free.

That's sort of what the night was all about - super sweet people being all nasty to each other. In really sexy outfits. There were a couple of dance floors, various little nooks and crannies for sitting/spanking/canoodling and a Hollywood Squares-esque 2 level neon stage type thing that housed various couches, racks, torture tables, etc. Some highlights included:

• A Bridget Bardot look alike in a white leather bikini getting the frijoles whipped out of her by a lady in a vinyl nurses outfit. I watched while sitting next to a woman who was getting her foot fellated by a guy in the fetal position on the floor.

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• A very large hairy man in what appeared to be black wrestling shorts and a collar getting walked on, whipped and choked by a dominatrix and her friends. He looked an awful lot like my Uncle Clem.

• A goth comedian. Not sure what his trip was.

• A super hot topless chick, strung up by her wrists, getting bull-whipped and molested by some dude for about an hour.

• I think I saw a blow job. There were a couple people in my way but it sure looked like one.

I have to say, I was very skeptical going in. I figured it would be another "ooh, look at us, we so crazy," watered down costume party that's more about the sexy clothes than the sex, but I was pleased to note that most of these people were genuinely getting their rocks off while inflicting some serious pain. Although I do feel like there could have been much more action - the place was huge, and fairly full, but not as many people were getting it on as I would have hoped.

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The thing that I love most about these types of events is that a 60 year old man in fishnets, nipple clamps and a feather tutu can stand next to a guy in a pair of jeans and a t-shirt and neither one feels out of place. Does not the rest of society have something very important to learn from these people?

If you'd like to get your ass kicked in front of a roomful of strangers too, check out: www.bondageball.com

Photo by permission from TommyO