3 tips from an expert on how to have satisfying sex as you age

There are many misconceptions when it comes to sex and older adults. Maybe the most common is — they don’t have it. Yet we know that’s not true. Some people are sexually active through their 90s.

And while aging can make sex more difficult or just different, it does not make it any less exciting or less important.

But how do you maintain a healthy sex life as you age?

We asked Janie Steckenrider, a sexual health expert specializing in gerontology, to share her tips for having satisfying sex later in life on AirTalk, LAist 89.3's daily news program.

Tip 1: Just do it!

Easier said than done.

Arousal becomes more difficult as we age, but Steckenrider said that’s why you need to be intentional about having sex.

She said people need to be patient and put forth the time and effort to become aroused. Foreplay becomes more necessary as we age. She recommended focusing more attention to different erogenous zones such as the ear lobes and neck.

And the more you have sex, the more your desire grows, she said.

Tip 2: Understand your aging body

“ I think one of the things that happens when you get older in terms of sex ... is the idea that your body changes and you have to adjust and redefine,” said Steckenrider.

Just as you would get reading glasses as your eyesight wanes, Steckenrider said the same principle applies to sex and aging.

Men and women experience hormonal changes as they age. Natural lubrication becomes harder and men often experience erectile dysfunction. There is also decreased blood flow to genitalia which causes thinning of the vaginal lining and makes intercourse painful.

Steckenrider said that seeing a doctor for ED and using synthetic lubricants can help.

She also stressed the importance of solo sex. Masturbation can help increase blood flow to the genitals and it helps you know what arouses you so you can be more intentional during sex.

Tip 3: Think beyond intercourse

Sexual satisfaction as we age isn’t so much about having intercourse — it's more about the intimacy that surrounds sex.

“ One of the trends that we see as we get older is a shift from a focus on intercourse to a focus on connection,” said Steckenrider.

She said that fondling, kissing and cuddling are far more important than actual intercourse. The focus should be on that emotional connection with someone else.

Sexual health contributes to our overall health, Steckenrider emphasized. So whether you consider yourself an older adult, or you're on your way there, these small changes can greatly improve the pleasure you get in life.

Listen to the full conversation