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Making the early-adopters feel inconsequential

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As if I don't feel badly enough for shelling out nearly $600 for my iPhone. Today Apple unveils a bevy of product updates.

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The iPhone's touch screen, internet browsing glory was jacked for the brand new "iPod touch", a Wi-Fi ready iPod with a 8GB or 16GB capacity. This is essentially the iPhone without the phone capabilities and much more thinner. Great. So, what you're telling me is that I'm not going to be one of the few to tout multi-touch screen abilities? The icing on the cake is the Wi-Fi iTunes Store, enabling you to purchase and download new tunes directly through your phone. The 8GB model costs $299 and the 16GB model costs $399.

The original iPod design now comes in 80GB and 160GB sizes with the moniker "iPod Classic". Sleeker than ever before, the new models are .41 inches or .53 inches thick and they have 30 hours of music playback, 5 hours of video or 40 hours of music playback, 7 hours of video.