This is an archival story that predates current editorial management.
This archival content was written, edited, and published prior to LAist's acquisition by its current owner, Southern California Public Radio ("SCPR"). Content, such as language choice and subject matter, in archival articles therefore may not align with SCPR's current editorial standards. To learn more about those standards and why we make this distinction, please click here.
Adam Yauch Is A Dreamboat And Other Revelations From The Capitol Records Roundtable - GALA EVENT TONIGHT!
I would like to marry you and have 1000 of your Buddhist-rapper babies. While this may come across trite or ill conceived I assure you I am neither a crazy person nor a stalker fan. Of course I think you make great music, but what I’m saying is that I have not been harboring these feeling for two decades hoping that one day I’d have a chance to spring them on you. These are, in fact, very new feelings. About 24 hours old, actually.
Dinosaur tape recorder in hand, I showed up at Capitol Records yesterday with some silly questions and a simple hope that my contributions to the sit-down discussion would be intelligible and well received.
But then you and your handsome man-band arrived and I turned to jelly bits. I did this quietly. No one knew. I hid it.
And sure, Ad-Rock was cool. I dug his bowler hat and all the smart ass remarks. Yeah, Mike D was great, with his confessions of Barbie surf vans and his affection for footie pajamas. But you Mr. Yauch, you walked into that conference room with the coolest half-sneer this shy gal has ever seen, and then out flashed this big-eyed, warm smile, and that was that.
Certainly I am aware that the professional musician vs. average guy sex appeal ratio is a dangerously real phenomenon, and maybe without realizing it I became bewitched like a puppy in love. But I don't think so. I'm chalking this up to true instant attraction, you devastatingly potent man.
I dig your laid backness. I dig the mellow tone of your voice. I dig that you're still upset about the monster fur not being long enough on your costumes for the Alive video. And I dig that you care about social issues, fair labor, and wallabies.
Luckily I got the whole production on tape since the only thing I could concentrate on during this spiel was your sexy gray hair and whether or not in some cosmic jive I would ever get the chance to touch it.
Most of the roundtable participants asked music-minded questions, stuff about inspiration or queries about travel. Not LAist. We addressed hot-button issues like fashion and teddybears, and we did it with moxy, and maybe a little flirting.
Tony asked a pointed question about the nature and intention of shoes but somehow it morphed into a commentary on the fashion dos and don'ts of the Gala Event shows. We already knew that cargo shorts were a banned substance, but here is a little more insight on the matter...
Ad-Rock: It doesn't say black tie. It's not a tuxedo. You know, even with the Gala Event thing, there was a guy in Denver who had a jacket, he had a boa, he had a funny hat on, really dressed up. And he was wearing a tee shirt. But his tee shirt was representing his friend's establishment. And so I let that go. He dressed up with specifics. He had a plan. I don't know how you feel about that.
MCA: Well, personally I feel like I'm more interested in an early 60s casual than a mid-70s dressed up.
Ad-Rock: Right. I'm just saying. The effort was the thing.
MCA: Yeah I met this one dude who was kinda like Jeff Spicoli backstage at, ah, Red Rocks, and he had on some cockamamie suit with a tee shirt and sneakers, and he was like 'Duuuuuuude, I dressed up for yer show!' And I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to bring him down.
Mike D: I would have been like, 'Duuuuude! You fucked up.'
I followed up with this think-piece, "As far as merchandising empires go, would you rather have action figures or plush dolls made in your likeness?"
MCA: Like G.I. Joe or a teddybear?
Mike D: I think I'd go for a teddy bear. Cause like, we already have some action figures and I think they're kinda stiff.
Ad-Rock: I as well would like to be a plushie. And I'm not saying I'm into plushies as a fetish thing. I'm just saying.
Beastie Boys (A Gala Event/Exclusive Instrumental Show)
Tues, August 21
@ The Wiltern
3790 Wilshire Blvd.
Los Angeles 90010
Doors: 7:00 pm
Show: 8:00 pm
ALIVE - Beastie Boys
Photo by Lisa Brenner