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August 8, 2007
Hanson @ the Viper Room 08/07/07
I'm not quite sure what lured me into going to see Hanson. I saw an e-mail about it, contemplated replying with a not-so-elaborate joke at their expense, and quickly snagged the opportunity without thinking twice. However, when I called my friend to jokingly present the Hanson show as a concert option for the night she vehemently lurched at it. I began to think twice.
Apparently, I was completely unaware of her Hanson phase. I'm pretty sure that if I had known we might not have been friends to begin with. Regardless, by offering it up I walked straight into a trap. We were going to see Hanson. It was final. I began to frantically rehearse lines in order to justify it to friends and family in the near future, but nothing I came up with really substantiated going to see Hanson. I had to deceive myself by viewing it as a (valiant) journalistic experiment: a small hipster dude in a room swallowed by a sea of emphatic fans. Putting myself in adverse conditions for the sake of renegade journalism. Way to go me!
Not.
Here's the play by play of the events leading up to Hanson's performance:
9:30pm I arrive at the Viper Room and get in line with my friend, who proceeds to divulge every useless Hanson tidbit she had garnered in her Hanson "phase". The excessive display of fanaticism sickens me and I haven't even entered the venue. What did I get myself into?
9:45pm We enter the Viper Room and I head straight for the bar to drown myself with whiskey. I figure that the only way I could possibly enjoy the experience is if I'm completely inebriated. Oh joy! Two girls in bikini tops and short skirts show up.
10:00pm With a belly full of Makers Mark and Coca Cola, I walk up the stairs to the stage, trembling ever so slightly with each step towards the potentially hellacious experience. My friend makes it clear to me that she has no qualms elbowing her way to the front.
10:10pm We plop ourselves smack-dab in the middle of a cluster of underage girls, who clearly have issues with us doing so. I receive multiple blows to the ribcage from the girl standing directly behind me. I turn around and she attempts to play it off as if it were an accident.
10:12pm More blows to the ribcage incite rage. I turn around to explain, in a fatherly-like manner, that elbowing someone isn't conducive to results. If she wants me to move, then she should just ask. We engage in a heated argument, which draws surrounding fans. All of the sudden, I am surrounded by angry Hanson freaks. This is my worst nightmare.
10:15pm I concede, feeling guilty and disgusted, mostly the latter, by letting disagreeable hobgoblin-ess and company stand in front of me. Meanwhile, my friend holds her ground, adhering to our original plan. We are separated by fanaticism.
10:20pm After five minutes of terribly awkward silence, my friend realizes that it isn't worth it at all. She asks for the hobgoblins' names so that I can put it in the review (Lisa and Cynthia...suprise, you're on LAist!). We relocate to the back of the room and Hanson comes on stage.
The gleaming brothers of Hanson ran through a polished set filled with mostly new material from their latest release The Walk. They played all of the obligatory hits: "MMMBop", "This Time Around", "Penny & Me" and the latest "Go". I must admit their pristine three part harmonies are impressive, almost CSNY-ish as someone stated in the comments of the last Hanson review. I really tried to come into the experience objectively so that I would not overlook the musicianship. It's too bad their voracious fans completely ruined the experience for me.
With the amount of hell I've received from all parties, friends, family, and fans alike, I can safely say that I will never go to a Hanson show again. I used to rip on them in times past without any basis for doing so. The stigma prevailed above all. At least now I've got a legitimate experience to back my undying hatred.
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One line about their music. That's revealing.
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i like turtles (i mean, hanson)
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you suck!!! Don't judge all Hanson fans just because some idiots ruined it for you!!
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I would like to apologize for the idiocy of those girls. Not all fans are like that. Yes, we have a certain overzealous nature that occurs at all shows, but I should recommend that you go to a show and stand in the back next time. I know that the show is at a smaller venue, so actually hearing the music would not be aproblem. That's what I do, because I can't stand the douchebaggery of certain fans either. Being able to enjoy the music is much easier now that the MMMBop craze has faded, but it seems that some fans still hold on to that insanity that turns many potential new fans off.
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Also, I would like to say to not hate on Hanson just because of the fans. They are legitimate musicians, and just their fans should not be a reason to bag on them. That's not a legitimate reason, I'm sorry. I know several people that adore their music and hate the fanbase. That last comment was out of line of you, really. Don't judge their music because of fans. Its comparing apples to oranges dear.
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How is it that underage girls nowadays even know who they are? My friend is threatening to drag me there next week, and I figured maybe it'd be okay cause their fans would have to be in their 20s now. No???
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There is no ammount of rehersal you could do to come up with a justification for going to a Hanson show. Don't they castrate all the males in the audience right before they go on stage? But seriously, I do believe that a piece of you must of wanted the journalistic challenge. OH SHIT did I, myself, just try to justify your own embarrasing decision? And to the guest that suggested my friend go through this heinous crime against humanity again, only this time sitting behind all the douchebaggery, you need to be shipped to Abu-grab. You'd be the most dangerous terrorist in that mother fucker. Hey Josh I promise we'll find you some new testies dawgy!!!!
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C'mon, how can you be pissed about a gaggle of girls who REALLY wanted to see the band being pissed off about a dude who admittedly elbowed his way into their throng and already established spot, and you didn't even want to see the show.
If you look at it objectively, they were standing there, probably having staked out their spot for an hour while you were getting drinks, you walked through and stopped in the middle of their gang. They should be pissed, and why would they think talking to you would work when a considerate and rational person wouldn't have done what you did in the first place.
Don't blame the fans when you and your friend are really the ones stirring up trouble.
Joe
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I really want to know what you thought of the opening act, Keaton Simons, now that would be something to review.
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Lousy review--hardly anything about the band, nothing about the venue, way too much "then I did this because I was so ashamed to be at this non-hipster concert." This should've been fun to review.
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haha uh oh, youve pissed off the hanson army! should've made them read the review on your iphone, its shiny, it would distract them.
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I'm a fan since 97.... and I've seen in only 2 shows (2000 and 2005 because I'm fron south america)the 99% of hanson fans are AWESOME. but unfortunately the 1% makes us look terrible infront of people like you. Anyway this "review" sucks. You should have written about their show and music and not about the fans if you call yourself a reporter!
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one thing ... never come in to a hanson show right before they take stage and walk your self to the middle. people camp out for hanson shows not just an hour before but hours or sometimes over night. it's not right they elbowed you but it's not right for you to try and push your way to the front too.
i was at that show too the sound in there was great i was in the back, i wasn't around any rude fans sorry you learned the hard way you don't get to just show up and push your way to the front of a hanson show.
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Wow.
You say you went in objectively yet even before you went to the show you were obviously embarrassed.
One line about the music. All about the fans.
What a terrible review.
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Interesting review of the "fansons"....where is the review of the show? It seems you went into this experience with preconceived ideas and you weren't prepared to change them. I went to my first Hanson gig just a few months ago and i experienced the same pushing and elbows to the ribs but the show was so professional and entertaining that i could rise above the 1% of the over-enthusiastic fans. I'm sorry that you had a bad experience but i don't think you'd have enjoyed this under any circumstances. You'd already made up your mind.
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"My friend makes it clear to me that she has no qualms elbowing her way to the front."
"More blows to the ribcage incite rage. I turn around to explain, in a fatherly-like manner, that elbowing someone isn't conducive to results."
Ridiculous. First you and your friend decide to elbow your way to the front and then you condescendingly lecture someone on the effectiveness of elbowing? Hypocrisy? Idiocy? Both and more?
Also, was this supposed to be a review of the band itself or the fans? Did you go to the show to review the fans you pushed to the side or the musicians onstage? It's apparently not Hanson fans who reviewers (you excluded because this is obviously not a music review) slam -- it's people like you and your friend who show up to a show asking for trouble.
You would have had a far greater experience had you taken your own advice and stayed in the back watching the beauty of the music emitting from the stage rather than elbowing people and basically asking to be treated likewise.
"At least now I've got a legitimate experience to back my undying hatred."
Pathetic. Hatred (presumably present before you entered the Viper Room) for fans who respond when you hit them, or hatred for the band you dedicated exactly three lines to, one of which praised their music (not exactly a sign of hatred)?
Better luck next time you review a show.
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So let me get this straight.
You went to this show with mixed feelings that you can't adequately describe. Once there, you decided to elbow your way to the front, pushing ahead of actual fans of the music who had come earlier than you had (and probably had more honest reasons for wanting to see the band.) The fans fought back, using the same technique you were also using. And you feel that is justification for your hating the band.
OK.
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Interesting how you thought that all the girls you encountered were underage, when the Viper Room is 21+. Just what do you consider underage? And you were speaking "in a fatherly like manner" to these women who were at least 21? Just how old are you, anyway? You sound like the sort of person Ian Anderson was referring to in the song "Too Old to Rock and Roll, Too Young to Die". I don't think that the villified Lisa and Cynthia should be anywhere near as embarrassed to have been mentioned in this "review" than the author should be.