Are you finding it hard to check social media, nowadays, because of the political bickering between your friends and family?

Us, too.

But it's also tough to avoid getting drawn into the fray when you feel like you can shut down that one person with a single reply.

Amy Alkon says to resist that urge.

"We have to pre-plan for the person we want to be on the internet rather than the person we're triggered to be," says Alkon, the author of, "Good Manner for Nice People Who Sometimes Say the F-Word."

There's a phenomenon called confirmation bias, where people – including you – will give greater weight to any information that confirms what you already believe. 

"Because of confirmation bias, you are not going to change minds," she says. "This is a pointless battle."

That means you're not winning an argument because you start TYPING IN ALL CAPS or link to articles you think are bulletproof.

It's just instant gratification since the internet makes arguments easy and fast.

"But you don't want to let other people transform you into some sort of ugly person that you don't really want to be," say Alkon.

If the argument spawned on Facebook, she suggests you write to every person, individually, and ask them to bow out of the conversation. 

"If you post, 'Let's keep it civil,' people ignore that and keep going on with what they've been saying," she says.

On Twitter, you can just mute the conversation with someone so you don't see follow-ups from them anymore.

"And I like to tell them that I'm muting them because that way they don't keep going," Alkon says. "Often, they'll just stop because they know you're not looking anymore."

In general, think of social media like Thanksgiving dinner: don't bring up politics.

You can take it a step further and spread some joy (which we all need, nowadays).

"One kind act a day, especially for a stranger, should be our cover charge for living in this world," she says.

And at least see everyone online as real people, not an argument.