At a New York kindergarten in the 1980s, a little girl was held back from recess. Her offense did not stem from refusing to share snacks, or not resting at nap time. She was punished for talking — with an accent.

"They [her teachers] said I couldn’t pronounce English correctly," said Michelle Moreno, who is now 30. "They called my parents in and said, 'Don't teach her Spanish, she doesn't need to learn it.'"

It was a decision that would come to affect Moreno's identity years later.

Fitting in with American culture is one thing. But the pressure to stay a "true" Latino — speaking fluent Spanish being the main criteria — has seemingly created a rift among Latinos in America as generations go on. This rift, lately, has manifested itself in the idea of not being "Latino enough." It's something actress Gina Rodriguez of "Jane the Virgin" had to address recently.

This struggle, while nothing new, is perhaps best summed up by Abraham Quintanilla, played by Edward James Olmos, in "Selena."

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"Group identity is really important," said Lauren Carris, who is an expert in language and identity with a special focus on Latinos and Latinas in California, and current interim assistant dean at California State University, Northridge. "There's always an interesting hierarchy and a process of marginalization: Who's in, who's out, who has access to lots of different things. And in order to categorize people, in order to kind of fit people into a space, identity and identification is a huge piece of that."

It's an identity conflict Moreno and Juan Carlos Salas, 29, are no strangers to. Both Moreno and Salas shared their experiences as sources in KPCC's Public Insight Network.

Salas is an L.A. native who speaks Spanish, "mostly by force," he said. Growing up, he acted as the bridge between his Spanish-speaking parents and the rest of their English-speaking environment. Even though Salas can check Spanish off the "Latino enough" list, to some people, he still doesn't cut it.

A couple of years ago, Salas said he was accused of being something he had never heard before: White washed. The issue? Salas is a fan of Frank Sinatra, the U.S. National Soccer Team and other American culture offerings.

"I didn't get angry, I got more confused because I had to actually go home and look it up to see what they were talking about. And when I figured it out, it just made me scratch my head and say, 'Where does this come from?'"

Moreno is a former Southern California resident who was raised in New York. Her father is from the Dominican Republic and her mother is from El Salvador. Moreno says as a result of her language incident in kindergarten, she's had more than her share of experiences of not feeling Latina enough — most of them coming from her extended family.

"When I do try to speak Spanish around my family and say, 'You know what? I'm going to give this a good college try, I can learn this,' I'm met with, 'You're not pronouncing that right, that's not how it sounds,'" she said.   

Carris says these experiences can stem from a twisted narrative where language is an indicator of authenticity among groups of people.

"On the one hand it is the first identifier for being foreign, and not being 'authentic' American, per say," she said. "But it's very interestingly used in this context to kind of flip that narrative and empower individuals that are often criticized or marginalized to then use that as a marginalization tool for others."

Carris says moving away from feeling shame is key for Latinos. She also thinks open discussion is crucial.

"I don't think that, especially in the United States, and probably around the world, we really have the tools and the right approach to be able to talk about this without getting super emotional," she said. "It shouldn't be one of shaming, but really recognizing the complexity and inviting a richer dialogue."

Salas, Moreno and Carris all agree on one thing: At the end of the day, you are who you are.

"Whatever I identify with, is how I identify. I don’t need to justify it, I don't need to explain it," said Moreno. "I don't speak Spanish, but I guess I'm just tired of apologizing for it."

To listen to the full interview, click on the blue audio player above

Correction: An earlier version of this post misspelled Lauren Carris' last name.