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Van Halen to David Lee Roth: "'Dude, get your ass up here and sing, bitch!"

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We don't want to get our hopes up, and we know it's the Holiday Season, the time where miracles and dreams come true, but according to Blabbermouth.com, Eddie Van Halen has contacted David Lee Roth to have the singer rejoin the band that has totally sucked since his departure.

"I'm telling Dave, 'Dude, get your ass up here and sing, bitch! Come on!'" Blabbermouth reports Van Halen said to Guitar World. "As it stands right now, the ball is in Dave's court. Whether he wants to rise to the occasion is entirely up to him, but we're ready to go."

Van Halen was recently on the Howard Stern show where he dissed long-time bassist Michael Anthony while praising his son Wolfgang Van Halen who has only been playing bass for a few months.

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“Michael Sobolewski [Anthony’s real name] is out touring with ‘the little red rocker’ … I mean the little red worm." Van Halen said in a long telephone interview with Stern in September. "I got no problem with these guys, but they’re billing themselves as the other half of Van Halen. My brother is the other half of Van Halen. They’re out there selling hot sauce and tequila and playing all my songs. It doesn’t bother me. It just makes them a cover band.”

Continuing his excitement about the son of ex-wife Valerie Bertinelli, the fret-tapping shredder told Guitar World, "He brings youthfulness to something that's inherently youthful." Van Halen said of his spawn. "He's only been playing bass for three months, but it's spooky. He's locked tight and puts an incredible spin on our shit. The kid is kicking my ass! He's spanking me now, even though I never spanked him. To have my son follow in my footsteps on his own, without me pushing him into it, is the greatest feeling in the world."

LAist would love to link to Guitar World's web site or blog, but neither contain any information on this groundbreaking news. Despite this amazing news, the Guitar World's blog on Myspace hasn't been updated since last month. Meanwhile the "official" Van Halen website still lists Sammy Hagar as the singer and Michael Anthony as the bassist despite the fact that both gentlemen have left the legendary group.