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The Beach Boys Are Considering Performing At Trump's Inauguration Because Mike Love Sucks

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Ugh. (via Facebook)
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With the inauguration of President-elect Donald Trump less than one month away, the incoming administration is having a hard time finding A-list musicians willing to perform. Marquee names like Elton John, Garth Brooks and Andrea Bocelli all turned down offers to perform. Even KISS is out of the running, as Gene Simmons' wife is no fan of the President-elect, according to TMZ. It has gotten so tough that Trump's team is reportedly offering government appointments to performers.

So far the only booked acts are 16-year-old America's Got Talent star Jackie Evancho, who will sing the national anthem, and... the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Wouldn't it be nice, though, if the Trump team could land one legendary act?

On Thursday, reps for The Beach Boys confirmed to Billboard that they're still mulling an invitation to play at Trump's inauguration. "[N]o decision has been made at this point as to how or whether they will participate," the band said in a statement to Billboard. "We will let you know as soon as a decision is final."

Help me Rhonda! How could The Beach Boys, those beloved surf rock icons that started in a garage in Hawthorne, be willing to normalize our incoming white supremacist, Putin-loving president? I have two words for you: Mike Love.

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In fact, Love mentioned this possibility with the New York Post back in September, when he said, "[Trump]'s been a friend for a long time. Does that mean I agree with everything he says? No. But... if we were asked [to play his inauguration], I'm sure that we would."

Yes, we're talking about the same Mike Love who hijacked the legacy of one of the most innovative pop groups of all time from his cousin Brian Wilson (who we all know was the real genius) and subsequently ruined it forever with "Kokomo" and John Stamos.

The same Mike Love who, would you believe it, is a Republican and, as mentioned above, is unabashedly buddies with our President-elect:

If you want some more reasons to dump on Love, blogger Peter Lynn put together in 2006 a pretty comprehensive list—"Why I hate Mike Love"—on his blog Man vs. Clown! They run from the serious:

  • He apparently beat his wife.
  • He’s an alleged racist.
  • He’s a right-wing Republican, but he did give $5000 in start-up capital to Tipper Gore to start up the PMRC to censor pop music.
  • He sued Brian over songwriting credits he claimed he never received, which might have been due to his not actually having done the songwriting he claims to have done.

To the more humorous:

  • He really got into transcendental meditation, and just wouldn’t stop writing shitty songs about it.
  • He did do a little songwriting, which used all kinds of hip slang that didn’t age well at all and sounds retarded years later. And his onstage patter was lame and unfunny.
  • His solo albums suck, even for Beach Boys solo albums, which mostly kind of suck to start with.
  • He thinks no one will notice he’s bald if he just keeps wearing a hat.
  • He’s still alive, while Dennis and Carl are dead.

So, Mike Love sucks. Maybe it's only appropriate that whatever he calls The Beach Boys these days (which doesn't include Brian Wilson, of course), should play at Trump's inauguration. Before I put on Pet Sounds to wipe all of this from my mind, I leave you with this:

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