Kobe Bryant Saved A Whole Class From Having To Take Their Final Exam With A Single Retweet

We live in strange times. On Thursday morning, an enterprising high school student in Indianapolis asked Mr. Belser, his U.S. government teacher, how many retweets he would need on Twitter to get out of his final exam, as one does.

“He said 2 million,” William Pate, a senior at Ben Davis High School, told a local news channel. “I told him that’s not going to happen. But unlike most lazy second semester seniors, Pate had followthrough. He countered the offer.

What if Pate could get basketball legend Kobe Bryant, who in 2003 settled a high-profile sexual assault case with a 19-year-old employee of a Colorado hotel, to retweet him? Mr. Belser acquiesced, and the bet was on.

Belser and Pate posed for some handshake photos, and then Pate, who goes by the moniker Lul Yoひngsta‼️ on Twitter, uploaded the following tweet:

Somehow, despite having 11 million followers and a notifications list that we can only imagine approximates an infinite scroll, the Black Mamba saw Pate's tweet. Looks like dreams can come true. Angels wept, students cheered, and Kobe's career assist total quietly inched up from 6,163 to 6,164.

Even the school administration was happy. Wayne Township Superintendent Jeff Butts also took to Twitter to thank the basketball star for the "teachable moment." And what a teachable moment it was! In what we can only see as a meta-message, the Ben Davis High School students had truly mastered their subject of study: how to succeed in U.S. government, 140 characters and zero historical facts at a time.

Mr. Belser though, it seems, may have slightly jumped the gun. According to a statement released by the school district, "Ben Davis High School requires all teachers to give a final assessment," so they won't get off scot free. "Mr. Belser is developing a creative way to assess his students’ knowledge of the material they have learned this year," the statement continued.