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Hip, Young Person Desperately Wants To Make Glendale Happen

Welcome to Glendale (Photo by Chew Boy via the LAist Featured Photos pool on Flickr)
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A young person living in Glendale has taken to Craigslist to coax other young people to be his or her neighbors. Their plea is acerbic, self-deprecating, desperate and cynical, so what's not to love? The post begins talking about how Echo Park has priced a lot of the "young, hip folks" out with its rapidly rising rent. However, they have a suggestion: Glendale.

"You’re seriously missing out by not living in this Kabob laden wonderland before or after your postimpressionist, Buddhist, gender queer union," the post reads.

The author then goes on to list ten dubious reasons for packing your belongings and settling in Glendale. These reasons include a dense population of "mean old people" to clash with assholes in their twenties, local markets, racist cops to make Facebook posts about, its ugly car dealership aesthetic, and abundance of malls and vapor shops. Now, you might be thinking to yourself, these things all sound terrible.

However, the last reason is:

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"Please. I would like some friends my age. Even if being this age is extraordinarily useless."

I decided to see if I could help this young, hip person out and searched on MeetUp for any Glendale groups. I found one for single parents, French conversation, parents who homeschool and senior women. Okay, not so promising, but what about this one: Live Action Battle Games. They play in Verdugo Park every third Sunday. If covering yourself in foam and pretending to war on each other isn't a good way to meet young, hip friends, then I don't even know what friends are. My only other suggestion would be to hang out drinking at Golden Road until friends come to you! But be careful: if Glendale gets too hip, it'll be expensive like Echo Park and you'll have be posting this missive from Van Nuys.